Resting in the Mystery

Facing Fear

2012-01-30T21:10:00.006-05:00

I love to sing.

Show choir in high school was one of my favorite things. (I totally get Glee.)

I love singing in our church's choir twice a week. The hour of choir practice is honestly one my favorite times all week. Learning the notes, the melodies, the harmonies (alto is my favorite!), hearing it all come together.

A good base lead....mmmm....those deep rich voices. A strong tenor part...there's something about a man who can sing higher than me (my dad sings tenor.) And oh who doesn't love a good alto lead in an old gospel song....warms my heart! Learning the songs out of the old red book that I know my granny knows by heart.

In our home we sing a lot.

My iPod dock is in the kitchen and it's almost always on. Luci told me Friday in the most amazed voice that Ms. Judy does not have music in her kitchen....can you believe it?! Her face was true surprise. Who would've thought?

Music moves us, shapes us. We recently found Seeds of Faith worship music which puts Bible verses to music. Our kids love it!(And I must admit it's helping my memorization skills too!)

One thing I don't do though....sing alone, out loud, in front of people. But last night, at an in house singing service at my church....armed with James 17:7, I did. I won't lie and say that I wasn't nervous. I won't tell you that I didn't hang on to the mic with both hands to control the shaking. I won't bring up that my eyes never left the words that lay on the pulpit in front of me. But putting all confidence in God....I did it.

Here's to learning to have a confident heart.

Learning to have A Confident Heart

2012-01-22T21:49:00.004-05:00

I've joined an online Bible study at www.reneeswope.com. (Check out the link in my sidebar.) I mentioned her book on here once before and decided what better way to finish reading it than to read along with her and a few others ( or 8500). We're just starting on chapter 2 tomorrow so if you want to join in, please do. It is such an amazing book with a gracious message about trusting in the Lord and really BELIEVING HIM, not just believing in Him.

Here again is my favorite verse on this topic: "Blessed is the (wo)man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him." Jeremiah 17:7

Last week we looked back at the verses that lead up to this verse. Verse 5 says "cursed is the man who trusts in man..." and that little part has spoken to me all week. Where am I putting my trust...really? I'd much rather be blessed than cursed. Wouldn't you?

(in)spired deals & a GIVEAWAY

2012-01-16T14:11:00.015-05:00

After reading this post over at incourage....I was a little dumbstruck.

Can a card really do all that?

So I began to ponder that thought.

The idea that a small piece of paper, either received face-to-face or through the mail, can change your life.

I think yeah, it can.

A card can change your life....maybe in a small change-your-day-kinda way at first, but then couldn't that day lead to a better day tomorrow?

Therefore changing your life....even if in the tiniest way.

A year ago, I was going through a rough time at work. A close friend and co-worker dropped a sweet encouraging card on my desk that made me cry and hope. Her sweet words and the fact that she'd thought to write them...meant more than anything in that moment. I kept that card near my desk for months to come, rereading it when I needed a reminder that I was just where I was supposed to be.

One of my oldest and dearest friends lives hours away and there have been many times when a card from her has shown up in my mailbox unexpectedly (Thank you Jesus for mail that is more than bills!) and immediately my mood was changed.

My precious husband, who is a man a few words will often pour his heart out in a card.

(I've kept them all....even the ones from when we first met 15 years ago.)

So...yes, a card can be a hug, a laugh, a sweet message, just when you need it.

Although, I'm not a huge fan of resolutions, I do like goals. One goal I set for myself this year was to send birthday cards to my close friends and family. The first week of January, I sat down with my box of cards and calendar and wrote out all the birthday cards for January. I have them ready to go on the desk near the door.

Just a day or so later, I came across that post.

Why not go one step further?

The fabulous folks over at incourage sent me a pack of Peanuts Encouragement cards (& a pack of Peanuts Thank You cards) to review.

Here are 5 of the enouragement cards:

{aren't they cute!}

Here are the other 5:

{I especially love the feel of the cards...their thick and sturdy and textured (fun!)}

Here are the thank you cards:

{Eli's already claimed one to write a thank you to Papaw for taking us to the waterpark for Christmas--love the lesson he's learning!}

My first card was sent to a sweet friend who's going through a very trying time personally right now. I pray that little Snoopy brightened her day (or at least her moment).

And because they're SOOOO awesome...Dayspring is letting me offer a special

$20 giveaway to use at Dayspring!

(The $20 must be before shipping, winner will be required to pay shipping.)

Here are the details for how to enter:

1. Tell me about a time when you've received a card that encouraged you.

2. Go to Dayspring and tell me what you would get with your $20.

(You MUST do 1 or 2 before you can do the others!)

3. Follow my blog (or let me know that you already do)

4. Follow me on twitter (or let me know that you already do)

So that's 4 ways to enter! GOOD LUCK!

Giveaway will end January 31st.

A winner will be chosen with random.org.

Thanks for participating!

The folks at incourage & Dayspring sent me this free product to review.

All opinions stated in this post are just that...MY OPINIONS.

An Few Inspiring Thoughts on Resolutions

2012-01-10T06:13:00.002-05:00

Seeing as that it's January, resolutions have been on the brain. I've never been a big fan of resolutions....they just feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. I love what these two ladies have to say about resolutions and success.

Mary over at Incourage

Jess over at Allora Handmade

Happy Tuesday!

And then my snow days ended...

2012-01-07T09:02:00.006-05:00

My glorious 12 day Christmas Break was extended with 2 glorious optional teacher workdays. And they were just that...glorious. (if you know me at all you know that I don't opt to go in on those workdays a lot...unless they're already scheduled...because snow days are fun days and restful days and catch up days and I may miss a day of pay....but I feel like it's God's little gift to me throughout the school year when I'm away from my babies most weekdays)

So Thursday came with a precious little 2 hour delay and me leaving a tad early to make my monthly baby dr appt and I was giddy with the ease back into work. And then Thursday night, I crashed. HOLY WOW! I must have done not.much.of.anything over the break because after climbing the stairs at school a dozen odd times (a normal occurrence) and standing for most of the day trying to cram in all that I missed teaching on the snow days...my body was like WHAT THE HACK?!?! After feeling lightheaded and woozy most of the day, I spent the entire ride to the doc praying....pleasedontputmeonbedrest....pleaseletmybloodpressurebenormal....and Thank You Lord, it was and she just told me to eat more protein (didn't really think about how much I'd been randomly snacking at home until I wasn't anymore) and take it a little easier (yeah, cause that's easy for me to do.)

As for Friday...let's say I crashed on my couch about 5 and was in the bed by 8.

So here's to a restful weekend at home with little schoolwork, a bit of sewing, and lots of naps (oh and Eli starts basketball practice so that ought to be fun!) and the prayer for maybe another snow day this week as its my first 5 day week in awhile....wait, I do have that workshop on Friday...which I better get planning for...Happy Weekend!

Confidence

2012-01-04T08:28:00.000-05:00

I am a lot of things.
But confident has never been one of them. I fake it. A lot.
I use sarcasm and often biting words to cover up and pretend.

But deep down, I've got issues. Issues with believing that I will ever be good enough. Issues with whether the people in my life will actually stay. Issues with whether they'll be real. Issues with trust. Issues with how much of myself to give.

Over the years, these issues have plagued me. They made me a clinging girlfriend and a needy friend.

Over the course of the past year, I've been forced to deal with a lot of these issues. A semi-tramatic year at work left me trembling and wondering if I'm good enough. This fear pushed me to my comfort zone....to creating things...with my hands...tangible things that I could see and touch and feel proud of. This, along with encouragement from my precious husband and dear friends, led me to open an etsy shop. I was (still am) terrified. What if people don't like what I make? What if they say "anyone could do that?" And while I'll admittedly tell you it's not rocket science here. I'm not making anything fancy that anyone else couldn't do themselves. It's the making....the crafting...that brings me piece of mind.

Another thing that's helped, last fall I began reading A Confident Heart by Renee Swope. I can only read it in parts because I need to stop and reflect and pray over the words that are like balm to my soul. My favorite verse so far, "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." Jeremiah 17:7 I now chant this to myself when I feel my confidence begin to waver. When I begin to hear those doubts enter my head. The ones that tell me that I'm not good enough. It doesn't matter, because He thinks I am. And what else really matters.

Answers to Questions I Am Asked Weekly

2011-12-29T21:55:00.011-05:00

Yes, we're having another baby.

Number three.

Yes, we may be crazy.

Quite possibly insane.

But no, it was not an accident or a mistake.

It is a miracle from God.

A blessing.

And we'll figure it.

No, we're not finding out what it is.

Boy or girl.

We have two names and will have two outfits to take to the hospital.

It will not be hard to plan for.

And we'll be thrilled with either.

(seriously....I can't make this stuff up)

Merry Christmas

2011-12-26T21:22:00.002-05:00

I pray you've had an amazing Christmas with those you love most! We've been soaking up lots of quality family time. :) I meant to post this weeks ago...but...that's life for ya!

So Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

** Kelly over at 4 Kids, a Mini-Van and a Lot of Love designed our card this year. She does ah-mazing work and has very reasonable prices! She's done our last two years of birthday invitations--I'll show ya later--and is great to work with!

The Ones That Aren't Mine

2011-11-28T22:05:00.002-05:00

After a five day weekend, I did not want to set my clock last night. When it rang this morning, I couldn't bear to turn it off without a few snoozes. Dragging myself into morning duty in the rain was less than enjoyable. Having a student break a lamp before I'd even set my bag down..not the best way to start any day, let alone a Monday.

Then came our discussion of the American Revolution and their eyes began to light up as we learned of the courage of those who came before us. We talked of pre-James Bond secret agents and spies and traitors and lots more movie-worthy stuff. They complained about taxes that cost them M&Ms and how unfair the king was. We laughed about rules of war and they stared in shock as I tried to explain war before ambushes and a time when soldiers walked in lines and marched straight at each other.

It was then, in that moment, when I saw a spark for a desire to know more....a yearning to hear more about the history of our nation....that I remembered why I set my alarm and get up early 10 months of the year. It's for the ones that aren't mine.

But She's Not Very Nice To Me

2011-11-28T05:55:00.002-05:00

There's a girl at my church, who a couple of years ago, maybe not even that long, I would have considered my friend. Our husbands were close, our kids close in age, and she and I had lots in common. Now she doesn't speak to me. I go take my place on the pew where she sits close by talking in hushed tones to another friend. They laugh over some private joke and I feel like I'm that out of place middle schooler all over again. Sure if I say hello as we pass she'll return the greeting. But it's different and I long to know why. Questions pound as I see her laughing and talking to other women in the church...what did I do? Why won't you talk to me anymore? After every service my poor husband has to listen to it all the way home. He's sympathetic and says it's not me....but I hear that middle schooler in me saying, of course it is, you must have done something. It's beginning to wear on me and then I read this verse...

Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer...I John 3:15

And I don't hate her. But I'm struggling with how to love her. My heart cries to God, but she's mean to me. She doesn't even speak and when I do she sometimes acts like I'm not around. How can I love her? Why should I? She certainly doesn't love me.

I feel my inner middles schooler crossing her arms over her chest and feeling justified in avoiding her at all cost. Pointing fingers when she doesn't show up for service or serve in the way I think she should. And then I read...We should love one another...I John 3:11

But what about when it's hard?

Thank You

2011-11-02T06:18:00.002-04:00

Dear Sweet Older Couple Who Sat Behind Us at Church last week,

Thank you for not shushing my kids (& me) during Communion. Thank you for that stifled giggle when my three-year-old not so quietly whispered that she was hungry too or when my six-year-old said, "oh it's cause I'm not in first grade yet?" when I tried to explain why he couldn't partake of the unleavened bread and grape juice.

Thank you for understanding that they're learning. That no, they wouldn't be better off in the nursery. Because where else will they learn? Where else will they see and feel the reverance of Communion? Where else will they learn to serve the person beside you before serving yourself? Where else will they learn to sit and just BE in the presence of God?

I know they're loud sometimes and that sometimes their crayons roll towards you over and over and over again. I know her Amens are funny and his prayer requests are simple. But thank you. Thank you for not laughing too loud. And for not complaining. Thank you for letting them learn.

Sincerely,

A Grateful Mama

My Goonies

2011-10-31T21:54:00.005-04:00

Happy Halloween!

Lessons in Life

2011-10-20T20:48:00.003-04:00

It's in the smallest things that I often learn the biggest lessons.
This week God is teaching me that it's ok to rest. It's ok to ask for help. To take a break. To let the mommy/wife guilt pass on by. To realize that no, I will never be perfect. And while for most of my life that little sentence would have annoyed the snap out of me....today I'm taking it. Claiming it as my own.
I'm not perfect. And that's perfectly fine.
I can't always make a home cooked meal every night after work cause rightthisminute the "work" itself is about to do me in. And that's ok cause it's good work. It's work that I really do love even if fifth graders make me crazy sometimes.
My house is not going to be spotless right now. Not with a preschooler, a kindergartner, & two crazed parents. And that's ok.
And you know what else, out house may not sell....and that's fine too. Cause it's ours, it's where our family began. It's what the Lord sees fit for us and for that I will be content.

Thank you Lord for your perfection that covers me. Thank you for a roof and heat and just enough space to keep us close. Thanks for a husband who helps and is my real life example of grace. Thanks for kiddos whose laughter fills our home and my heart. Thanks for the lessons that teach me to just breathe. Amen.

M.I.A.

2011-10-16T14:26:00.002-04:00

There comes a time at the end of every summer where I begin to get restless. I long for busy. Routine. Then comes fall. First school starts & I find myself learning new students, establishing new routines, basically working my tail off. This year has been even more crazy. My Eli is in kindergarten. He loves it and is thriving, which makes me smile. He and Lu both have had birthdays. Lu began preschool (which was particularly hard). Lu also started dance....I felt she needed something of her very own and I worried over whether she was old enough and would like it.....whether it was worth the time and money. Turns out, she loves it....so I feel good about it. And then there's the new baby. :) yep, we went for three! I've been surprised by people's reaction....everything for shock, to offers to pray for us. :) As for us, we're excited. Anxious, nervous....and everything else. But overall, feeling extremely blessed. God is so very good.

Forgive me for my slack this fall. I've been busy :)

forever friends

2011-09-06T20:59:00.003-04:00

Here's a post that spoke to my hear today....Now that I see you, I miss you!

God has richly blessed me with friends for each and every season of my life. New friends when we moved....old friends at college.....friends who were one step ahead of me with marriage...and one step behind....friends with kids the same age....friends with grown kids.....friends with whom I can share my creative craziness....and friends who will support me in whatever new adventure I decide to throw myself into even if they don't get it. I could never say thank you enough to all of the friends I've made along the way. You really do make the journey worthwhile!

Love y'all :)

prayer please

2011-09-06T05:53:00.002-04:00

seven years ago this week, i was still a newlywed, so a few days off during the fall to work on my new house were welcomed. i had seen (but mainly heard) the destruction that had happened to our tiny town. in a 100 years that much water had never been seen. crops were ruined. homes destroyed. whole neighborhoods washed away. i prayed. i helped with cleanup. i donated my husband's old boots to a friend's cousin. but i didn't hit me.

it didn't hit me until a few weeks later, when i was standing in my classroom. my classroom of big kids. and it started raining. one by one they began watching the window. listening more closely. fear made them antsy and anxious. they began to whisper...some asked to go home.

and then it hit me....

pray for my town as flood waters threaten once again.

there's still that

2011-08-23T23:07:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow is the day. Big. Monumental. Lots of firsts. My oldest heads to kindergarten. My heart is overwhelmed with emotion and yet relieved too. Is that crazy? I'm relieved that he'll be joining me. My classroom is just down the stairs. I'll be closer in proximity to him than I've been during the school year his whole life. Every school day I've left him to come to this building and teach other people's kids. And now he's coming with me. So in that...I'm over the moon.

It's in the realization of time passing by that I'm sad. He was just born. How can it be that 6 years have passed by? I feel like yesterday I was nursing this tiny boy and today I'm tucking into bed this giant kid who says the sweetest most awesome things, who knows Bible verses, & prays better than some adults. But at least there's still that....the tucking into bed. Saying his prayers with him. Making sure he's rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and tied his shoes. There's still that.

seriously lacking

2011-08-09T23:22:00.004-04:00

so my posts have been seriously lacking this summer.
but my summer has seriously ROCKED!
here it is in a nutshell:

took the kiddos to sea world, aquatica, & busch gardens

turned 30 & spent a weekend at the beach with 2 of my oldest friends

bought a fire pit & roasted hot dogs & marshmallows (a LOT)

stood back in awe as my ah-mazing husband put a bathroom & walk-in closet in our bedroom (he's something else i'm telling ya)

spent the night with my gran...twice

went to school every.single.tuesday (except today) so eli would be able to go to the library summer celebration when he starts kindergarten next week (can we say mom of the year?!)

spent a day in my pjs (or two or three...)

took my kids to the pool (pretty much once a week at least)

saw fireworks

read the hunger games (wowser! loved it)

slept in (most every day!!)

finished a bible study (learned a TON!)

did crafts for vbs

stayed up WAY too late

watched 4 seasons of army wives on netflix (can we say naptime?)

did some hoop art

made an earring holder out of an old frame & chicken wire

came up with a MILLION new projects (my hus may kill me)

painted my new master suite ....over and over and over...as a matter of fact i'm looking at trim work that could use a touch up (ugh! can we say ocd!!!)

so that's it. too busy to hang out by the computer (or the sewing machine for that matter!) it's been wonderful and crazy and exhausting and i've LOVED it.

school starts back next week and i'll have a million excuses not to blog...so i'm going to try and set a schedule (GASP!) and get better about this whole thing.

got any tips for me?

wish me luck!

vbs

2011-07-29T08:55:00.002-04:00

This... (Vacation Bible School) has consumed my life for the past 2 weeks ... at least. It's been a worldwind of decorating, crafting, brownies, sugar cookies, little kid cah-razy, and a tiny bit of drama (isn't there always?)...but last night....right before commencement...11 kids gave their hearts to Jesus.

And in that instant.....it was worth it.

I can't do this alone...

2011-07-16T09:14:00.006-04:00

source

"I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh." Galatians 5:16

I read this verse in a brand new light last night. My flesh desires sin. It delights in it. But being a believer means that I'm called to something more. Called to live by the Spirit. The Spirit is here to help. Calm me in a moment of frustration when I feel like my kids aren't listening the way they should. Reassure me when I worry that my products are just the same as everyone else's. Hold me up when I want to collapse from exhaustion in the remodeling process. Help me sleep when my mind is rolling through my to do list.

I can't do this alone. That I know for sure. But sometimes I get so caught up in my own independent feminist nature that I forget. God didn't mean for me to do it alone. I will fail every.single.time. But with Him. With Him all things are possible.

crappy friend

2011-07-05T15:55:00.007-04:00

photo credit

i'm sometimes a crappy friend. i'm sometimes a good friend who brings oatmeal or coffee or sonic drinks. but sometimes i'm a crappy friend and i hate that. i realize that i'm not alone in this. my friends can sometimes be unintentionally crappy too. the Bible says in proverbs that "a friend loves at all times..." i was thinking about this yesterday and thought about it in a whole new light.
you see i've been feeling sorry for myself cause a friend hurt my feelings. unintentionally and i'm sure she doesn't even know it cause i didn't sure didn't tell her. i just came home to lick my wounds. and then yesterday, i hurt my friend's feelings. unintentionally. but i did it just the same. and these were the words going through my mind afterwards...a friend loves at ALL times....a friend LOVES at all times....a FRIEND loves at all times. (i'm learning this is when i learn the most....when i screw up--isn't that normally the case?)

and i do-- sort of. i love my friends. but honestly not at ALL times. not when i feel hurt by them. i expect them to forgive me freely and often, but i'm not quick to reciprocate. i often harbor those feelings and sulk. acting more like my 5-year-old than i care to admit.

so here's i am striving to do better. to be a better friend. to love at ALL times. not just the easy times. the fun times. but the crappy times too.

if you've experienced mom guilt raise your hand...

2011-06-24T15:15:00.005-04:00

(i'm standing on my tip toes with my hands stretched to the sky) GUILT. ugh. sometimes it comes it short bouts that leave me with my hands on my hips shouting "oh for the love...get out!" and other times it leaves me in the fetal position crying over stuff that's really not my fault. yesterday i was all but on the carpet.

my oldest has had 5 cavities. he's 5. that's one per year of his life. except they didn't start till his teeth started touching. and we began flossing. and brushing more. the first time we heard that dreaded c word, i cried. at least i made it to the car first. what kind of parent lets their kid get cavities!? 6 months later we were cavity free! we celebrated!! only to find out in 6 more months we had another one. ugh. and this time the word "crown" was thrown out. i was sick.

yesterday we got a crown. his first crown. (not mine, cause i've had a million.) he's so proud....showing it off like it's a new car. i'm cringing in the corner thinking...great, now everyone can see that i'm a crappy parent.

then this morning i told the mom guilt to GET OUT. no, i'm not a perfect parent. and yes, unfortunately my kid has my crappy teeth. but it's not cause we don't try. so when you see my kid out and about sporting his new crown....please don't judge. don't stop me and tell me that if i had brushed his teeth more that we wouldn't have that beautiful new eyesore. (true story...happened yesterday) just know that we're human. just like everyone else.

thirty

2011-06-20T15:02:00.006-04:00

Well kiddos....I'm thirty. And I still can't find my camera so here are the only pics I have from my birthday.

Here I am with my cake. (He got me a cake y'all!)

Here's where the boys were while we (the ladies) cut the cake. My friends insisted that they sing to me...which was more like a serenade because they were all up on the hill around the fire singing down the hill to me. It made me laugh. :)

So he did it. He threw me a party. Of course I knew about it so the surprise was ruined...but it was wonderful (& I hate surprise parties remember?) Friends from high school, college, now....:) hotdogs, kettle chips, watermelon, cantaloupe, and a cake that my man ordered from a delicious bakery--not the grocery store bakery either.

All of my friends were SHOCKED (to say the least) that he pulled it off...without asking anyone for help. I wasn't. He's just that good. I got a good one girls. A really good one. :))))

The kids played on the trampoline (although apparently not in that picture) and with the drum set (always knew that was a good purchase--my neighbors may disagree) and even began a little cage fighting after dark (I was oblivious--hey! it was my birthday!--but hubs nipped it in the bud quickly--a keeper I tell ya!)

We roasted marshmallows and made smores and laughed at my crazy dislike of all things surprise. It.was.perfect.

saturday confessions #7

2011-06-18T09:24:00.005-04:00

photo credit

1. it's my birthday. :) which i love and hate all at the same time. (which i realize is dumb.) i love cause...duh....it's my birthday. i hate cause....people like to surprise you on your birthday and while small surprises are great (jewelry, a trip) i hate big, everybody jumping out, looking like an idiot in front of everyone i know, throwing you in a lake or soaking you with cold water surprises. hate them.

2. my amazing husband planned a surprise party for me (he apparently didn't know about #1)and i spoiled it. i cried, he was mad. it was NOT pretty. thankfully that was all last night and the party is tonight so the waterworks are over (i hope) and we can get on with the party tonight with all of my closest friends. :)

3. now that summer is here i'm feeling overwhelmed with all the things i want to get done this summer. so starting tomorrow (or maybe monday) i'm making a list. cause otherwise nothing will get done and it will be august and school will start and i'll feel like i wasted two months. (of course because it's summer i may or may not follow the list)

4.i've lost my camera. have no clue where it is. and i'm sorta afraid to look cause i just got it a year ago and it wasn't cheap. oops.

5. i just started reading redeeming love by francine rivers and HOLY WOW i can't put it down. the only time i can really read is while the kids are sleeping which involves a very bright book light that chris says is like standing on the sun. it annoys the snap out of him and makes me laugh. such an awesome book though. thinking about the hunger games next...not real big into fantasy though....what do y'all think....is it worth it?

have a fabulous weekend :)

MIA

2011-06-17T08:40:00.003-04:00

Hello friends. Sorry I haven't been around lately. I mentioned in my last post just how crazy things have been lately and since then they just a worse! (If that was possible.) Just closed my 8th year of school. (That alone really takes it out of me. It always gets to this point of counting down and just trying to get through the last few days of testing, babysitting, celebrating, and getting ready for next year.)

Aside from school, life itself has just been busy these days. Last weekend our well planned camping trip got thrown to the wolves after about a million things went wrong and Chris and I ended up driving to Charleston. (It was very spur of the moment and not anything we've ever done but FABULOUS!) And I took like 2 pictures. (Did I mention that I've misplaced my camera that Chris just got me last year? Yeah...looking for that today...maybe.)

This weekend I'll be turning the big 3-0 along with celebrating Father's Day so who knows what we will be up too. Right now, I just wanted to say that I'm back....sorry for leaving y'all hanging. I promise to come back real soon with something a bit more interesting to tell you about. :)

Saturday Confessions...on Monday...#6

2011-06-06T05:49:00.002-04:00

A little late here....I got it. Things have been CRAZYbusy round here lately...as they get at the end of the school year...so better late than never I suppose.

1. I pitched a full blown grown up fit on my family Friday night. I had a fun evening planned and every idea I suggested my 5-year-old vetoed. Every. Single. Thing. After a long st.re.ss.FUL week....I was kinda at my wits end! He and I have been doing this dance a lot lately....he pushes....I get frustrated....he gets frustrated and melts down and I lose it. He and I had a LONG (for a 5 year old) talk on Saturday and things seem to be better now.

2. I just got offered a ticket to Relevant and although I'm terrified and have no idea what to expect....I think I may take it!

3. This is my last full week of school and I'm SOO excited and exhausted just thinking about it. Some poor unfortunate kiddos have to retake end of year tests so the rest of us are just hanging out all week. It's just a step away from mass chaos most of the time.

4. My husband has been obsessing over his Jeep lately. He and I are supposed to take it camping this weekend...but it's currently not running so we'll see. He's been pretty aggravated with it and I feel terrible about it but can do NOTHING to help.

5. I have BIG plans for our summer break...some of which will never happen...which is totally cool cause that's what summer break is for :) Most importantly I just wanna hang out with my kids. Sleep in. Swim. Read. REST. Make the dark circles under my eyes go away. Maybe do a Bible study with some girls at church. Read. Sew. Thinking of making a list with the kids to hang up in the house. Have y'all ever done that?

Ok, cause it's really Monday and not Saturday, I've gotta get moving. Have a great week!

Saturday Confessions #5

2011-05-21T19:13:00.002-04:00

1. I haven't vaccumed in two weeks. Or mopped. Yeah...worst mom/wife/homemaker ever. I got it.

2. I ate a brownie before dinner even though I told my kids they couldn't have one.

3. Chris and I are planning a camping trip that we're not telling our kids about....yeah...worst.parents.ever. (Oh and they're not going either.)

4. I'm turning 30 in a month and just this week began using wrinkle cream. I think it was the fact that I had to dress up like a 14 year old this week for a school thing that made me realize I'm not 14 anymore and I have wrinkles. (Thank you tanning bed when I was younger. I really did enjoy our time together, but unless I wanna be a wrinkled mess by 50....I had to quit. Oh yeah and the whole skin cancer possiblity kinda scared the poo out of me!)

Now I'm going to go try to fix my sewing machine for the 117th time today. And if it doesn't work....I'm taking it to my bedroom and shoving it out the window that is a ways off the ground so that it will be certain to break into a million pieces and I'll be forced to get a new one. Which I will use our emergency fund for. It's totally an emergency right? Yeah, I thought so.

Seek First--WITWW--week 1

2011-05-18T05:40:00.004-04:00

This week I'm starting a book study with a group of girls over at Good Morning Girls. I did a book study on the book of James with them a couple of months ago and it was wonderful! I learned a lot and found that my morning quiet time went a whole lot smoother and purposeful each morning wtih a precise plan. If you're looking for a little more structure in your time with the Lord (to keep you focused or whatever), go check out the SOAP method they provide, it's really helped me to think more about scripture.

The book we're reading this time is Sally Clarkson's The Ministry of Motherhood. We begin the book next week but this week we're reading some verses to get our minds focused on family and what the Bible says about it.

The very first reading was Psalm 127:1--Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

This verse makes me think back to my wedding day. My father-in-law, a very spiritual man, gave us this advice, "Always put Jesus first and everything else will fall in place." The seven years that we've been married have proven to have their ups & downs. We strive to put God first in everything that we do though. We don't miss church a lot because we know that we both need recharging. We seek out Christian opportunities and do what we can to be involved in church and we trust in God to provide where we can't. God has built our home. Yes, we love each other dearly. But we love God too and depend greatly on Him to build our family and watch over us.

Today's verse was Matthew 6:33 and it spoke volumes to me even though I've read it a million times. "Seek you first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you." There are certain things we do in our home that are without question. One of those things is, we pray. We pray over every meal and at bedtime of course, but we also pray a lot in between. And it's in those in between prayers...for a scraped knee, a need for patience in a moment of frustration, a need to be nicer to our baby sister/big brother....that we learn the most. (By we, I mean me and the kids.) My hope is that they learn to go to God with anything. And occasionally I know it's working when Eli asks to pray for someone in his class or for an animal.

Another thing we've just recently started is memorizing scripture. The kids have a verse each week from our nightly Bible study. If you would've asked me a month ago about Lu memorizing scripture, I would have probably laughed...she's 2, c'mon, she can't remember scripture. I have trouble remembering scripture. If this Bible study we're doing (more on that later) we repeat a verse every night for a week and we have Eli repeat it. Luci is NOT going to be outdone by her brother so she says it too. (Sometimes better!) And to hear scripture coming from the tiny mouths in their little-kid voices....warms my heart and soul.

I say all this to say that we're learning. More every day to seek Him first. Seek His ways first. Even though we're pressed for time. Our over committed. We're learning and trying and God knows we don't always succeed.....but I believe He wants our effort more than anything else.

Headaches & an Ah-ha Moment

2011-05-16T05:57:00.003-04:00

For about 8 weeks I was having these intense, hardcore headaches.

You may remember that I told you I'd started going to the chiropractor here. (By the way, not my x-ray.) Well a few weeks in, the headaches started. It became a daily recurrence. Sometimes medicine would help (but who wants to take meds daily?) and sometimes it wouldn't. They left me in a fog. It was wretched and I felt like a big baby. Chris used to get migraines and these headaches weren't that bad, just annoying...but still painful...anyway, I felt like a wus! Two Sundays ago I finally asked my church to help me pray about it. I say finally because I felt it to be a very trivial prayer. I mean c'mon, we're praying for families where the dad just discovered a brain tumor, mamas with cancer, dying saints of God...prayer for my headaches seemed silly. Within a day or so....my headache was gone. I actually went to the chiro last week to see if I was out of line cause I was so used to the headache. I wasn't. He told me that my body was fixing itself, getting used to the realignment and that had caused the headaches to go away.

It took me till yesterday morning to see that no, something bigger was in the works.

You see, my God cares for the silly, trivial things of life. The Bible tells us to ask....just ask, and we will receive. I talk often on here about faith...faith in the big things. I'm so thankful that we can have faith in the little things too.

Here's to a God who cares...even about the stuff that we think is inconsequential.

Saturday Confessions #4

2011-05-14T08:52:00.008-04:00

Good morning y'all! We have a busy day of shoe shopping, fabric shopping and grocery shopping today with maybe a show tonight.

Go check out Leah's music at His & Hers...so hoping we can make it tonight! Here's what I'm confessing today:

1. We have eaten out every stinkin day this week. I've cooked dinner once in 7 days. Pitiful.

2. I feel IMMENSE guilt about #1. (There goes my mom of the year award!)

3. I've been to 3 doctors this week....2 for Lu and 1 for myself. (Which is the main reason for #1--if you're interested in my excuses.)

4. For 2 years I was in charge of the Relay for Life team at my school and while I loved it....it was GLORIOUS to NOT be in charge this year. And by not being in charge I was pretty much useless....which of course I feel guilty about. (seriously)

5. Chris bought me a Nook for our anniversary and it's causing me to abandon my house. Totally not my fault.

Hope y'all have a fabulous weekend!

Mother's Day--a day late

2011-05-08T12:17:00.007-04:00

On Mother's Day I spent my morning cleaning pee off the couch and milk off the ottoman. I stayed home from church with Lu because she had a slight fever and a croupy cough. Happy Mother's Day to me. :) No really, it's no problem at all. Just another day right? It gave me time to reflect and hang out with my darling daughter and for that I'm grateful. Truly grateful.

On my to do list this week is to get together pics of Eli from birth till now for his preschool graduation. Preschool Graduation. HOLY WOW. My baby boy is graduating from preschool. My heart is swollen with pride and a little fear for what comes next. Kindergarten. He was just born. How can he be ready for kindergarten?!

So while Lu watched Dora and in between painting nails and reading books, I went through pictures on my computer looking for 5 that show my baby boy growing up. I could send in a hundred or more. But I get 5. 5 pictures that show off my precious boy. The one who made me a mother. I remember that first mother's day when I was pregnant with him. I had NO IDEA what I was getting into. I had no idea how much I would love him.

He challenges me every day. I have a friend who calls him "the Master Negotiator" and boy is he ever! He knows just how to push every button I have and even those I didn't know I had. He knows how to cut those eyes at me and make my blood boil! He knows just when I need one of his perfect hugs. While is sister is quick to rush through things nonchalantly, he takes his time and soaks things in. He's my thinker. Often worrying over tiny things. He thinks to send cards or give gifts when even I may not. He's thoughtful and timid and sometimes shy. He's nervous and deliberate and hates to be on stage. He's kind and gentle and pulls at my heart.

I see myself in his creativeness, his determination, his stubborness. I hear my voice in his sarcasm and in his offkey singing. I see his daddy in his kindness and his care with all things small.

I can't imagine my life without him and feel so incredibly blessed to be apart of his. God is amazing and I thank Him daily for the gift of motherhood.

Busy Weekend Ahead

2011-05-05T20:53:00.006-04:00

(This is the ONLY picture I can find of the two of us...sad I know.)

Chris & I are headed out of town this weekend for our anniversary (which was a

month ago!) and I CAN.NOT.WAIT! (I'm missing a festival-y thing at school and I feel a little guilty about it....but then again, not so much :))
We're going to do a zipline a couple of hours from here at...

This was my anniversary gift to him and I hope I don't wus out on him (he thinks I will.)

After ziplining it up, we're heading a little further south the closest metropolis we know...the lovely Queen City to see one of my oldest dearest friends at her first ever arts/crafts market. I was gonna do the market with her, but we only found out about it three weeks ago and I was just NOT up to putting in all that it would take for me to be ready. (Not to mention that Chris' schedule has been anything but normal for the last 3 weeks which puts me in a single-parent sorta mode.) So we're going to show support and check out the wares.

Vicki just opened her shop a few months ago and you MUST check it out! She and I have talked about owning our own businesses for as long as I can remember and we decided this year, with our big 3-0 birthdays that we had nothing at all to lose and opened our own shops! Her site is Capture the View Photography and she sells prints, greeting cards and much more. Check out her blog too and send her a little encouragement if you've got some to spare! (We all need it every now and again!)

Happy Mother's Day weekend!!

Saturday Confessions

2011-04-30T16:33:00.004-04:00

It is beautiful here today and I have thoroughly enjoyed this lazy day of cleaning, sewing, and hanging out with my family. After a crazybusy week with terrible storms (although not near as bad as those that hit a little east of us....thank you gorgeous mountains).

I'm linking up again with Melissa this week and look, she made a fancy new button just for confessing!

fancy, huh?

Here we go:

1. I did a diet thing with some friends right before Christmas and lost 9 pounds. I have since gained 6 back and that makes me wanna puke. The worst part is that I know EXACTLY what to do to get it back off...I'm just lazy and full of crappy excuses.

2. Chris and I are going out of town next weekend for a late anniversary trip and I cannot wait! I love down time with my hus!

3. I usually load and unload my dishwasher every day but until this morning dishes had not been touched since Wednesday. (Yeah, they were pretty gross.)

4. I cannot stand to not have my toenails painted. They are painted year round even though no one sees them in the winter. :)

Have a wonderful Saturday!

A Winner & A Coupon...who doesn't love a good coupon?

2011-04-25T21:15:00.010-04:00

Thanks so much for entering my giveaway! The winner of the $20 shop credit is: (I feel like there should be a drum roll...)

#6: Anash said... I follow google connect "anash" Thank you kindly.

Thanks Anash! I'll be emailing you shortly!

For the rest of you, just cause it's Monday and I love ya, and I can....when you place an order at Stitched In Faith enter the coupon code MOM11 for 10% off your order.

Be sure to head over and check out the fruits of my Spring Break labor.

I had such a good time last week sewing and hanging out with the kids. Here are some pics from our week:

(Don't ya love how I managed to get the clothesline directly in front of him?)

Easter Weekend Chaos :)

2011-04-24T22:23:00.002-04:00

Hola kiddos! It has been cah-razy around here this weekend! Chris worked 2 graveyard shifts, I went through 14 million(-ish) boxes of clothes which in turn meant I had to go through closets & dressers and then clean like a maniac afterwards because the aftermath was INSANE! Yesterday we did two egg hunts, a family lunch and then spent a while relaxing with some friends at a new (to us) park. Today I single-parented sunrise service, bfast at church and Sunday School (which landed me singing with the youth group---not sure how). After a quick pb&j lunch and short naps we piled into the car to go hang out with more fam which ended with my sister pulling 3 kids up the road a half-a-mile-ish in a wagon (sending my brother & I, along with our spouses, into fits of uncontrollable laughter)---yeah you really had to be there!

ANYway...I say all this to say that I love you and I haven't forgotten you! I will be back to announce the shop credit winner tomorrow!!!!

Spring Break--plans and the like

2011-04-22T15:55:00.004-04:00

(Yes, I realize this is a cemetery...Arlington to be exact. I just love this tree. It screams spring to me.)

So my spring break is winding to an end (two more glorious days!) & I'm sad about that. But also I'm refreshed. After last Saturday's confession, I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying and I still don't know what I should do yet....but I know that "whatever's gonna happen, God can handle it!" (Sorry, it's the incessant Veggie Tales listening! Can't. STOP!--Lu LOVES them. Love her heart.)

This week has been good. Great actually. I haven't blogged cause I just haven't had a lot to say (shocker, I know!) But I've been resting (not really sleeping--weird, I know), I've been reading, playing, catching up on shows I've missed (thank you Hulu!) I've made cookies & hunted eggs. Played on playgrounds and watched movies. I've cut fabric and been sewing. I've even got new products to list in the shop! I've cooked dinner (without hating it cause I'm exhausted!) I've cleaned my....well, I did clean the car today and I've done the daily chores--dishwasher, laundry, all that mess....but as for overall cleaning...not a bit! Did I mention that it's been GLORIOUS! I am so thankful that God knows when we've had it. He knows when we just need a break and at just the moment when we think we can go no further....He's there to offer comfort and rest.

I hope you've had a great week. You still have time to enter my giveaway...scroll down & ENTER! I'll be back tomorrow with more (uplifting I hope!) confessions and a WINNER!!!!

Saturday Confessions...& a GIVEAWAY!

2011-04-16T20:51:00.008-04:00

Happy Saturday to you! Here it's the first Saturday of Spring Break so I'm pretty stoked about that. I'm linking up with Melissa again today at:

This week I'm confessing to...

1. Wanting to quit my job. I've been feeling like I suck at it lately and instead of sticking it out I really just want to crawl in a hole and cry.

2. SOOOO looking forward to this week off (refer to #1)

3. Feeling really bad about #1, but also feeling like #1 is making everything (& everyone) else in my life miserable...not just me.

4. Desperately needing a date night with my husband.

5. Maybe even more desperately needing a full night's sleep.

**Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer this week :( ! Keep reading for something that will hopefully cheer us both up!

Just last week, I opened up my shop of handmade deliciousness.

Nook Color Case

iPod/Phone Case

This week I'll be filling it with LOTS of new lovelies! (Thank you Spring Break!) I want YOU to have first dibs on the newbies so I'm offering up a chance to win $20 shop credit!

To enter, just leave a comment telling me which product you like most in my shop.

For extra entries:::

follow this blog

blog about this giveaway (leave me a link)

follow me on Twitter & tweet about it (leave me a link)--1 tweet per day.

I'll choose a winner next Saturday when I link up again to confess. :)

GOOD LUCK!

God Is Bigger

2011-04-11T21:36:00.005-04:00

Veggie Tales have taken over my CD player. I don't mind it (well except that there are only like 4 songs on the cd) it's really not that bad. They are particularly funny those guys. They were at a local church a month-ish ago and my kids are now a little obsessed. They liked them before, but now...they're celebrities.

Anyway....so they've taken over and sometimes to avoid like flippingout when they're blaring through the speakers....I find myself thinking about what they're saying (holy wow I'm lame!) And today I thought, you know, God is bigger than the boogeyman. He's bigger than my crappy afternoon meeting. He's bigger than test scores and report cards. He's bigger than dog stuffing up Lu's nose that took a doctor's visit to get out. He's bigger than rained out ballgames and missed anniversary dinners. He's bigger than missing book club.

And He really is watching out for us. He knows (WAY better than me) what my life looks like in the grand scheme. I have trouble following what it looks like in the right now.

And for all of that, I'm thankful.

P.S. Here's Lu before the stuffing came out:

You should have seen her after! (Maybe she won't stick batting up her nose again!)

P.P.S. Check out my brand new etsy shop: Stitched In Faith & come back later in the week for my very first giveaway!

Launch Day Celebration

2011-04-10T23:45:00.009-04:00

Forever and 42 days ago (or so) I wanted to open my own shop. You may have heard me mention it ;) 6 weeks ago I started this: (one of the COOLEST things I've ever done...and I'm still working on)

and today the dream is real. Like really real. HOLY COW REAL!

Here's the link to my brand spankin new shop:

Welcome, make yourself at home. Check out my wares.

A dream I was scared to dream....but thankfully, I did it anyway.

And while you're there, checking out my digs....go check out my new friends' digs too.

Here you will find a list of a BUNCH of new shops that are stepping out with me today to celebrate dreams coming true! You'll also find some AWESOME new blogs, some FABULOUS giveaways and LOTS MORE!

Thanks SO much for reading my random thoughts daily (or weekly or monthly or whenever.) I love that you're here and hope you'll stay a while.

Saturday Confessions

2011-04-09T15:13:00.005-04:00

**I'm linking up with Melissa over at

today.

(Sweet girl, don't know her from Adam, but love to read what she writes :) )

I'm dead tired from 3 days in DC with 75 fifth graders and 47 of their parents.

For some reason, I can.not.sleep.

I have never once in my life been homesick until last night about 9pm when I realized it was going to be well into the night (3am) before I would get to see my family.

I am SOOOO looking forward to spring break which begins next Friday at 3pm (or as soon as I can get my students out the door!)

My 7th wedding anniversary is tomorrow and I bought my husband a card at a random Food Lion on the trip home yesterday, pretty sure that makes me to worst.wife.ever. (It's the thought that counts!)

I LOVE nap time and plan for it to continue until my kids are like 18 cause my house is so quiet and peaceful.

I read the best book I've read in awhile on the bus this week called Heaven is For Real. Awesome story about a 3 year old who went to heaven. Made me cry and gave me chills. Oh, and made me long to see Jesus and my papaw.

What confessions do you have this Saturday?

Ultimate Blog Party 2011

2011-04-04T21:56:00.006-04:00

Hey! Welcome to Resting in the Mystery! This blog is a place for me to just be me. A place for me to let my hair down and vent. Or share what I've been learning lately. Or show off these two darlings...

(Yes, those are cucumber 'staches. Weirdos.)

Writing is stress relief for me. Mostly it's just me ramblin on about this and that. A whole lot more of nothing than something really. (Name that movie!)

I married my high school sweetheart (after 5 years of not seeing each other after high school). We have two darling kiddos and a crazy Boxer we inherited from some friends.

At the beginning of the worst recession our nation's ever seen, we started a business that has allowed us to watch God work in awesome ways. We've learned a lot and are still hanging on thanks to a good sense of humor and an amazing God. Together we have big plans for our life, but are willing to sit back and hold on for the ride He has in store.

I love sweet tea and all things fried & sugar coated (although my hips would love for me not to!) I have a strong southern accent that I'm quite proud of and am not one bit afraid to use. I love crafting of any kind and can't wait to one day share my wares with the likes of you.

Check my sidebar to see what I'm up to on Twitter.

Thanks for stopping by! Can't wait to meet you!

Kept

2011-04-03T15:54:00.003-04:00

Today during church, I found myself flipping backwards in my Bible to read the beginning of the story my pastor preached about. (I do that often.) We were reading in Luke 5 about Jesus and the fishermen. But I wandered back to when Jesus was just a boy. (Ch. 2) I came across verse 51 which says this:

"...but His mother kept all these things in her heart."

Can you imagine? Being the mother of Jesus. I can barely handle being the mother of Eli & Luci. I often feel overwhelmed and underqualified. They shock me. Anger me. Surprise me and leave me longing for more. I cannot fathom what Mary must have felt. All the while knowing that He was of God. He was God. Knowing that He came to save the world. Sure, she didn't know the how, but still. That's a lot of pressure and a lot of faith.

Reading this little tiny thing about Mary made me connect with her. Cause I do that. I keep the things of my children in my heart. I'm not so good at remembering to write it all down. (I think my pregnancy journal with Lu says, "I'm pregnant.") I'm not so good at 1.) taking pics and 2.) printing them off. I'm not so good at labeling and/or keeping every tiny art piece they produce. But those special times that we share and I catch myself thinking...holy cow, that's my kid. I tuck those away, into that innermost part of my heart. They are the things I think about when I'm lying awake at night. Those are the things I reflect on when the world gets too loud and heavy. And I remember, that just like Mary, I've been given a gift. A gift from God. A gift to love and protect and to help grow in the right.

Creativity For Kids Shrinky Dinks Review

2011-03-29T06:00:00.003-04:00

I was asked by Lisa over at Creativity for Kids to review one of their Shrinky Dinks products. I had never played with or even seen Shrinky Dinks before so I was really excited to try them out. I picked the Monster Lab for Eli to try (& of course Lu). He's the type of kid who would spend hours coloring and cutting and pasting and just CRAFTING (hmmm wonder where he gets that? ;) )

Eli's ALL ABOUT gross, nasty just plain BOY stuff right now so I thought he'd enjoy making a MONSTER LAB.

Here's what came in our box:

a backdrop/stage of sorts

a pack of mini pipe cleaners, colored brads, glue dots and glue to put all the shrinky dinks together once shrunk

a pack of monster-y figures to color and shrink

a pack of colored pencils (LOVE Faber-Castell pencils)

directions for shrinking

My personal fav!

Look at those great colors!

Eli & Lu spread out all the shapes while I read about how to shrink all these dudes.

Then they got right on the coloring. There were A LOOOTTT of little peices to color!

I let them put their finished colored monster parts on the cookie sheet and placed them in the oven.

After just a few seconds, this is what I saw...Pan #2 didn't fair so well...apparently if you leave them in too long

(like seconds too long)

they bend too tightly and don't come undone

(Eli M-E-L-T-E-D down about the lost scientist!)

So we skipped ahead to the backdrop...We took the few pieces we had shrunk (3 pans) & just skipped the shrinking on the rest of the pieces (to avoid another meltdown) & colored & attached them.

The kids had a BALL putting the pieces together to make CRAZY SILLY monsters!

Big THANK YOU to Creativity for Kids for letting us try this out!

Happy Tuesday

2011-03-29T01:00:00.000-04:00

I know that all these dreary cold days are going to pass soon and I'll see this again...

photo credit

and everything will be all green and spring smellin'...YUM! That makes me happy.

In a week I'll be away from my family showing kids the streets where the greats walked. Greats like Lincoln, Jefferson, FDR.

That makes me happy.

I know that soon all the stress of this school year is going to pass and my kids are going to head on to middle school. THAT makes me happy.

One day really soon I'm going to be brave enough to share with you some of those things I've been working on...

and THAT makes me happy.

What's making y'all happy today?

Not Ready for This

2011-03-27T16:56:00.006-04:00

I remember getting ready to graduate from college. I was excited. And sad. I was scared to get my first class (that was back when there were actually jobs to be had.) I was worried about leaving behind friends. I was overwhelmed at the future and not knowing exactlywhatcamenext.

I remember when Chris proposed. I was overjoyed. Thrilled. Then we went to register. And I cried. All out sobbed right in the middle of the mall. It was embarrassing. I just kept saying, "I don't know how to pick out stuff for a house!" Needless to say it was awhile before our house felt "homey".

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Eli. I was happy. But more than that terrified. I was only 23. I had only been married for 9 months. I had gotten the wife role down yet and now I was gonna be a mom.

Too often in my life I have said, "Lord, I'm not ready for this. Are you sure?"

Looking back now, I see His plan. I see His hand in it all. I found my place in the world after college. I figured out how to build a home (it's a daily work-in-progress). And I've figured out what it means to be a mom (also a daily work-in-progress).

Now as I stand at this crossroads of sorts in my life I feel myself constantly asking, "Lord, are you sure? Is this really what you want me to do. Cause I'm not so sure I'm ready." But this time's different. Cause I've seen Him work before. I've seen faith in action and I know, deep in my soul, that I will never be ready. But where He leads, I've gotta follow.

Hello Monday

2011-03-21T01:00:00.001-04:00

Hello Monday...

photo credit

Hello baseball...

photo credit

Hello spring weather...(I've missed you)

photo credit

Hello almostmyanniversary (7 years)

and I'mgonnaneedtogetagreatgiftfast (HELP!)photo credit

Hello to being INTENTIONALLY GRATEFUL

& my first ever guest post going on today at:

Hope y'all have a fabulous Monday!

High Stress Situations--Little League

2011-03-17T12:54:00.004-04:00

Little league baseball. Three words that really don't evict a whole lot of emotion for me. Until this week. We signed Eli up to play and his first practice was supposed to be Tuesday. It rained so it ended up being yesterday. He was nervous. I was trying to be supportive and encouraging, telling him that he'd be fine & he'd have fun, when I realized as I was running around like a crazy person between school, preschool, the chiropractor, the babysitter's and the ballfield....that I was a little nervous too. Downright butterflies in my stomach, shaky hands kinda nervous. I took a deep breath, realized I was wearing my big girl panties already and walked my 5-year-old to the field. It's not like they were gonna ask me to throw a ball or anything...why was I so nervous?

I was worried that I wouldn't know anyone (cause, ya know I've lived in this town since I was 10...chances are I'd know at least one person there!) Or maybe I was nervous that I would know them and it would be someone who's feelings that I hurt in the 9th grade or maybe she hurt mine (why do girls carry that crap around for years?!?!) I was worried that they wouldn't like my kid. What if he got out there and flipped out and cried or couldn't hit or catch or run at all? (Just evidence that he really is mine!)

The more I've thought about all this nervousness....the more I want to laugh at it. (And the more scared I am for kindergarten to start in the fall.) I know we all feel it. That pressure to not have the weirdo kid or to be the weirdo parent. When in all actuality, we're all going to have/be the weirdos at some point. If there's anything that I've learned in my life it's that everyone's the weirdo sometime. There are those people who never screw up. Never wear sweats, never not have their makeup just so, never have snot smeared all down their arm. You know 'em, they've got it together. Always. They're annoyingly perfect. But really, they're just good at looking that way. Somewhere, they're falling apart. Somewhere, sometime, they're facing issues that run just as deep as mine. And as mean as it sounds.....it makes me breathe a little easier. Cause we're not perfect. My kid may not be the allstar and he is definitely going to melt down sometime. Occasionally I'm not gonna have tissues and I'm gonna have to wipe snot on my jeans (we've had a lot of snot lately). Cause we're REAL people. And that's fine. I just need to remind myself that they're all real people too.

Making A Joyful Noise

2011-03-13T21:26:00.006-04:00

(She's quite the fashionista...can'tcha tell?)

My Luci, who is 2 and a half, sang at church tonight.

Straight into the mic that our pastor gave her (tried to warn him) and semi-clearly.

She sang "Jesus Loves Me", with our pastor's help.

(I must admit that I was kinda afraid she'd break out the Franny B or Sugarland or her favorite--Jason Aldean's "Big Green Tractor".)

In the middle, I glanced over at her daddy and saw what must have been a reflection of my face....the biggest grin you could imagine and eyes filled to the brim with tears.

I am not worthy of this life that I've been blessed with.

I didn't wanna go

2011-03-09T21:42:00.003-05:00

I was covered up in work. C.O.V.E.R.E.D. UP. An online class. Papers to grade. Books to read. Plans to find cause they were mysteriously misplaced on my laptop. My kitchen was crying. Sink full of dishes. Crumbs covering the floor. Dirty stovetop. Dirty countertops. Just downright dirty! Laundry was piled up. Preschool blanket hadn't yet been washed for Monday morning. Favorite pjs waiting to be worn, lying crumpled by the washer. And then there were all the things I WANTED to be doing. Like sew. Or blog. Or read other blogs. Or work on Indie Biz stuff. My attitude sucked.

But I went. Cause I felt like I needed too. Even though I didn't want too. I needed too.

And He spoke to me. He spoke right into the core of my soul. The deepest depths that I didn't know anyone could see. Through my scowl. He heard my heart. My anger. And He told me that it's ok. He asked me to step out on faith. To trust Him.

So I went to the altar. And I cried. I sobbed. Downright ugly, makeup mess. And I thanked Him. For hearing me. For loving me. For saving me. And for keeping me.

Smores' Pops

2011-03-03T20:38:00.006-05:00

K, so spring is coming....eventually. And spring makes me think of camping (which we don't really do, but we aspire to do one day, idk right now tent camping with a 2 year old makes me nervous!) anyway, camping makes me think of food (duh! cause everything makes me think of food!) and what's camping without SMORES! That perfectly roasted marshmallow smooshed ever so slightly between two graham crackers with that little (or not so little) piece of chocolate snuck in there....I'm drooling just thinking of them. YUM!!!

When I get that smore craving I've been known to pop a couple mini-mallows on a graham with some chocolate chips into the microwave for 15 seconds and WOW...pretty good!

Then last year for Eli's end-of-the-year party at preschool I found this recipe for Smores' Pops and thought...how can you mess up a smore? Let's give it a shot! Here's what we got:

Easy, peasy! & oh-so-delicious! (Two of my favorite descriptions of food!)

1. Melt some chocolate chips (a cup-ish or so)

2. Stick toothpicks in big mallows

3. Crush grahams in a ziploc bag

4. Dip mallows in chocolate

5. Roll dipped mallows in crushed grahams

6. Let sit on wax paper till dry (or burn your tongue and go ahead and try 'em!)

Wahlah! SMORES' POPS!

The preschoolers loved 'em! (And so did we!:))

**This is not my original recipe. I do not own one original recipe cause I'm too busy being a mom, wife, teacher, etc. and have NO clue how to cook at all except to first steal lovely recipes from others and try my best! That being said, enjoy at your own risk! :)

Coming Soon...

2011-02-28T22:44:00.006-05:00

In a little over a month, I'm going here: and here:

and here:

and here: With a few (only 120ish) people. In which I'm (sorta) in charge. I'm nervous. And excited. And anxious. Anxious to show them a tiny bit of the rest of the BIG, WIDE world that awaits them. Anxious to blow a tiny spark of curiousity into a flame.

Did I mention there are some things that I still l.o.v.e. about my job? :)

I Go Cause I Need It

2011-02-27T21:46:00.010-05:00

Image Credit

In Sunday School today we talked about how the world often views Christians. I often hear the word hypocrite and I must be honest and say that before I came to this place that I'm in rightthisminute, I threw that word around too. My motto was "I don't have to go to church to believe in God." And while I wasn't wrong technically, I was wrong in a big way. I have always believed in God. I have known my whole life that God was in charge. Church just didn't fit into my schedule. I knew that something was missing. And church was a lot of that. Chris joined the church that we currently go to 9 years ago. I joined 7 years ago and we've been there together ever since. I love my church. I love worshipping God there. I love serving Him there. I love the family I have there. Not biological family. But spiritual family.

We've had a lot of visitors lately. I often feel like I have to be on my best behavior around visitors. Afraid that I'll turn them off to our church or worse, God Himself. I try to be welcoming and friendly. (Sometimes I'm so distracted getting the kids settled and getting to choir and making sure Lu went to the potty...it's hard to keep my smile up and my hand outstretched.) I worry that the visitors will see me praising God one minute and fussing at my kids the next (or complaining or something else) and call me a hypocrite. I can hear them saying, "Yeah look at her, she's all holy one minute and crumbling the next." But I'm not. I'm just a sinner saved by grace. Striving to do my best. To learn from my mistakes. To worship my Lord and Savior. I don't go to church because I think I'm better than anyone else. I don't go to church to show off or to make my weekly appearance before the Lord (&/or community.) I go because I need to be refreshed. I need to get on my knees at that altar and pour out my soul to my Creator. I need to learn from those around me. I need to be with people who believe as I do. I go cause I need it.

Is that SPRING I smell?

2011-02-20T18:44:00.005-05:00

Every year around this time I get anxious.

Anxious for our couples retreat which is next weekend (woo-hoo!!!)

Anxious for an extra snow day (or not cause it'll mean Saturday school--yuck!)

Anxious for shopping trips for new clothes--springy clothes! :)

Anxious for 100 kids in DC, for spring break, then tests, then SUMMER break.

Anxious for...a change.

Don't get me wrong...I love winter. I LOVE snow. In November and December and January (and occasionally in October and February.) I always tell my coworkers that I'll never complain about a snow day (even if it means Saturday school) cause God knows that I LOVE a snow day and that I need a break from the routine every now and again. But every year around this time, I get anxious for the sun to come out and stay out a bit longer. For the daffodils to start poking their shiny, yellow blooms out (always just a bit too early it seems cause they end up getting caught in a cold front.) I get anxious for spring rain and warmer temperatures. For capri pants and thin jackets and my favorite J41 shoes. So last week when we hit 70 degrees a couple of days and then Friday night there was this perfect spring-ish warm-ish rain....it made me ready. REALLY ready. Ready for winter to head on out and spring to roll on in. Are you ready?

**I'm gonna be doing a giveaway soon! A couple actually....one with a kids company that I really adore! And one with some stuff I've been working on :) Read this if you didn't catch that I'm letting my creativity out and I'm SOOOO excited about it! I keep watching this number on the right side of this page go ever-so-slightly up and although I know in my heart-of-hearts that it doesn't matter and it's not why I'm here talking to you....it's still kinda neat to watch it go up. :) So I've decided that since I'll be the big 3-0 this year (in June) that I'll give something away from my soon-to-be-open shop when that little number gets to 30. Ya know, cause...I can. :)

Love y'all!

Real Faith

2011-02-18T06:04:00.005-05:00

I've been reading in the second chapter of James this week about having faith without works and I've figured out my problem.
I have faith, I believe, I LOVE God. And I'm good with showing my faith in "comfortable" ways. I love to help someone out. I'll bake you cookies, cook you dinner or send you a card any day of the week. And please let me pray for you. I can DO that! But take my child as a sacrifice because God told me too (like Abraham) or hide out spies in my house that I know I & my whole family could get killed for like Rahab, yeah I'd run screaming for the hills...or hide out quietly hoping God would choose someone else. I can hear the conversation now, "Ok God, you know I believe, you know I have faith in you, but I'm too small for this. I can't do this. I'm busy...I've got school and the kids and this new business and I really need to be reading for book club and I haven't studied for Sunday School yet...can't I just serve you in that way....I'll just hang out a bit more in Sunday School with the college kids. I can show my faith to them. Yeah, that'll be good. See God, I can do that and that way I won't feel scared or have to worry about letting you down. It'll be better for everyone. You go get someone else. There are tons of people who are just dying to do that for you." Then I'd run away as quickly as I could and just tell myself that that nagging feeling I have is not God. He gets it, He knows I can't handle that.

And that's just it, I can't handle it. I can't handle actually putting action behind my faith without Him. That's the faith part. Believing that He will be there. He will give me strength and guide my steps and not.let.me.down. Oh to have that kinda faith. It's scary to me. Scary cause I know that in order to get to that point, I have to depend on God. I'm not real good at depending on others. But that's what faith is. And that's all God wants.

Hold To My Hand

2011-02-16T21:59:00.000-05:00

This little one is growing WAY too fast!

She's getting way too heavy for me to carry

(I know I had cut Eli off--for the most-- part by her age.)

But I cannot resist those big blue eyes and those reaching arms...

Obviously I'm not alone!

She LOVES her daddy...

Can you tell?

Happy Wednesday!

Something Else

2011-02-09T22:21:00.006-05:00

My husband is something else.

He puts up with me (which takes quite a bit I promise!)

He ADORES our children.

He's kind and generous.

He loves the Lord and will serve Him in any way that he can.

(He is currently leading all congregational music at church and he's pretty good!)

He's hilarious.

(And loves dry, STUPID comedy--which would annoy me if he weren't so darn cute!)

He's handy. He can fix ANYTHING. Seriously. Our water heater exploded (the only time I've ever been thankful for our dirt basement) & he bought a new one and put it in. A shock broke in my car....he fixed it. I told him I wanted to redo our kitchen, he tore out cabinets, moved appliances, put up sheetrock, painted...you name it (I was minimal help honestly.) He built a woodstove, put it in our basement and redid the duct work in the house so we didn't have to pay our ridiculously HIGH propane bill 4 times a year (I like it warm!)

Seriously y'all....he is SOME catch. :)

Too bad for you that I've already caught him!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Siblings

2011-02-07T20:55:00.000-05:00

You know all my stories.

Of blackberry pickin' & r.v. trippin.

You've lived my life,

been in my shoes.

Almost exactly.

We are made of the same things.

Granny's green beans,

Mama's skillet hash,

Daddy's guitar songs.

You are my brother,

my dear friend.

**I'm so thankful that my kids have each other, so that one day, when I've lost my marbles, they'll have each other to laugh with, cry with and just hold onto.

a journey

2011-02-02T21:57:00.003-05:00

12 years ago I started on a journey. I worked at it. I struggled. I succeeded. I struggled some more. I pressed on. There was a time when I felt confident and sure about it. 8 years ago I began to doubt myself. Today I'm doubting more than ever before. I feel like I'm drowning in a pool of things that I'll never be quite good enough at and I have no idea how to get my head above water. I've cried most of the evening. I love the places this journey has taken me. I love the people that I've met along the way. But I'm not sure I can continue on this path anymore. It's always been the path I saw for myself. I can't imagine my life without it. I'm scared too. Cause it's something I can't even wrap my mind around. But I think I need too. Cause I'm often angry and frustrated and left wondering where my joy is. And that is no way to live.

I'm praying tonight, more than ever, for God to give me a glimpse of the plan He has for me. The journey He sees me on. If this is it, then I pray that He'll give me strength and guidance to stick it out. If it's it now then I pray He'll lead me on.

2011-01-31T22:03:00.003-05:00

I feel like I'm at the beginning of something BIG.

Something life changing.

Or at least I hope so...kinda.

I'm also scared.

To.

Death.

Tomorrow I'm going to sign up for this:

I know that I'm already a bit stretched thin (that's only a bit of an understatement :))

But I feel SO strongly that the Lord has led me to this.

This place.

This time.

This calling.

My very soul is alive with excitement and possibility.

Chicken Pockets--A Recipe

2011-01-27T21:09:00.007-05:00

Small disclaimer first: These pictures aren't going to *wow your socks off*, I am NO photographer. Also, I'm no Paula Deen, anything I make is less than fancy but it is edible. When I first got married I was a TERRIBLE cook....being in the trenches for 6 years has taught me a thing or two!

I'm still nothing fancy, but we eat out a lot less now and we're not starving! :)

Keep in mind that I'm a working momma of two, with a husband with sometimes CRAZY hours...if it's the least bit complicated...it ain't happenin!

So here's my shot at sharing the knowledge I've gained over the last 6 years. ENJOY!

Chicken Pockets

(a la my church cookbook)

Start with these simple ingredients....

1lb or so of chicken boiled & shredded (I usually add paprika or something to the water when I boil it to give it a bit more flavor--or so I tell myself)
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can chicken broth (I used a little less than 1/2 the carton)
1 can Crescent Rolls (My kids love crescent rolls...I swear I could wrap anything in them and they'd eat it!)
Shredded cheese (totally not in the picture, refer back to my disclaimer)

After boiling & shredding the chicken,

(sometimes I leave in the crockpot covered in broth all day on low so it's ready when I get home, I HATE waiting on chicken to boil, not sure why....but I have NO patience for it!)

spread out the crescent rolls in a 9x13 pan and put a little (or a lot) of chicken in the middle of each and roll them up. (My kids LOVE to help with this step!)

Combine the cream of chicken soup & the broth in a bowl, stir until well combined & creamy.

(I do less broth than soup if I'm using a carton because I want it to be creamier.

Takes more cooking time the thinner it is.)

Pour the soup/broth mixture over the crescents & then cover with cheese

(I've learned that everything is better with cheese & hey! it's 2% so why not?!)

Cover with foil & bake @ 350 for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, remove foil & continue baking for about 10 minutes or until brown.

(My oven is CRAZY so I apologize if these times are off.)

Crescents should look like this(-ish) when removed from the oven.

Voila!

(This is my husband's plate with the GInormous portion of peas, & my poor picture taking! Peas are about the only green vegetable he'll eat, even though I don't even really consider them a veggie--weirdo!)

Enjoy!

Recap: Chicken Pockets
Ingredients--1 lb (-ish) chicken, boiled & shredded; 1 can cream of chicken soup; 1 can (or a bit less than 1/2 a carton) chicken broth; shredded cheese

1. Set oven @ 350.
2. Lay out crescent rolls & fill with shredded pre-cooked chicken in 9x13 pan.
3. Mix broth & soup & stir until creamy.
4. Pour soup mix over crescents.
5. Cover pan with foil & bake for 30 minutes.
6. Uncover & bake until brown (about 10 minutes)
7. Enjoy!

Thanks for playing along! Let me know if you like this and I'll drag out some more recipes. :)

wonderfully crooked

2011-01-23T15:16:00.004-05:00

My back is crooked.

That is the understatement of the century.

Really. I was diagnosed with scoliosis at the age of 11, had back surgery at 15 and am now dealing with pain due to the bending (yeah, I said bending) titanium rod attached to my spine.

I've recently started going to the chiropractor & while it may all be crazytalk....I'm choosing to believe what he's telling me right now and go with the healing that I pray will come.

While looking at my xrays before my first adjustment he asked, "So have you broken your nose before?" My answer..."Nope, sure haven't." and then I bust out laughing. Cause what a kind way to say HOLY COW your nose is CROOKED!!! It's similar (although not nearly the same) as asking when you're due!

A year ago, the whole crooked nose question would have bothered me. As a matter of fact a friend from church once commented (quite bluntly might I add) about just how crooked my nose is once and I internalized the comment and replayed it in my head for MONTHS! (Heck, I'm still talking about it years later!!) But lately, I've been trying to retrain my thinking. I'm not good with compliments. I brush them off. I bat them away with my quick (yeah right) wit. I analyze myself in the mirror and worry over weight that shouldn't be there. I compare myself to others constantly. Or I always have. But not lately. Lately I've been trying to keep this verse

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully & wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalms 139:14

in my head for moments just like that. When I catch myself thinking a bad thought...

I think of Luci.

I never want her to think those things about herself.

Cause none of us should.

We ARE wonderfully made and

who

are

to doubt the handiwork of our Creator?

This Old House

2011-01-10T22:07:00.003-05:00

Our house is on the market. It's month 8. I was SUPER concerned about it at first....and I still want it to sell, but I'm good with just where we are right now. This is not my dream house. (It's ok, my husband knows that.) There are many things I would change about it (& many things we already have.) The 4 of us are getting a little cramped. But, it's ok. For rightthismoment, it fits. I kinda like that the kids share a room and are just across the hall from us. I like my new kitchen and LOVE my dishwasher! (Didn't have one for 6 years!!!) I like that we have a big yard. I like that our house is convenient to town and stores and when it snows 10 inches in one day...we can still get out if we have too.
So it's not my dream house....but lots of dreams have come true in this house. This was the first house we lived in as man and wife. It's the first house I've ever had to pick out things for and decorate. It's the house where I learned to cook and really clean. It's where I've learned to be a wife. It's where I grieved my grandfather and my uncle. It's where we brought our babies home from the hospital. It's where they learned to nurse. It's where they've slept through the night for the first time. It's where they've taken their steps. It's where they've played and gotten hurt and been loved. It's where they've sat in timeout. It's where we've celebrated--new businesses, professional accomplishments, potty training triumphs, soccer victories. It's where we've fought and cried and laughed. It's where we've become a family.
I know that one day this house will sell and we'll move on and while that day will be a victory because it will mean a new chapter in our lives, it will be bittersweet.

My Mom

2011-01-09T13:20:00.006-05:00

My mom has been THE woman in my life all of my life. She was my hero as a child. Truly the wind beneath my wings. The one I wanted to be most like. She's strong and beautiful and very funny. She's quick-witted and sassy (two things I, unfortunately, did not inherit.) Most people think I look just like her...which is such the compliment. She left my dad because she didn't want my brothers and I to be raised in such a hostile environment. She and Dad fought a lot. I've always been thankful that they wanted better for us. Mom has always tried for just that....to make better for us...for me. She has worked HARD her entire life...for me.

I get my dark hair from her. My creativity from her. My innate desire to create things....beautiful things. My instinct to please others comes from her. My inability to sit still. I get my stubbornness from her. My stick-to-it-till-I-bust-determination. My-hate-to-be-wrong attitude. My hard-working-have-to-do-it-all quality. My love for dance and shopping and candy. My cannot-give-less-than-110%- to-anything-ness.

She is my mom.

My biggest fan. Always.

And I hope she knows

that I

am

hers.

More (Resolutions--or not)

2011-01-03T21:03:00.005-05:00

So because it's the new year and all, I've been thinking a lot about resolutions. Every one is I guess. I've done resolutions before. And I've broken every one. Some within minutes of making them I think. I've done the whole...I'm going lose ___pounds. I'm going to read more, watch less t.v., eat healthier, read my Bible, exercise, play with my kids, call my friends, do better at ____(insert whatever you wish)....I've said it all, a hundred times over. And I've been let down. Every. Single. Time. So I'm done. I'm not going to resolve to lose weight....I can and will at some point lose weight this year (probably with the Game On! Diet which is SUPER fun and helped me lose 9 lbs last month!) I'm not going to resolve to never drink another Coke, cause I like Coke and Dr. Pepper and bubbly soda drinks that I realize are terrible for me...but as often as I indulge (once a week maybe) I don't think will kill me. I'm not going to resolve to exercise every day...cause I won't. I'm not going to resolve to start my read-the-Bible-in-one-year-Bible over again only to end up in September in December again. Cause I felt like SUCH a LOSER when that happened (last month) and no, I didn't read the Bible in a year, but I did spend time {most} every morning with a quiet time with God (which really changed me by the way) and who cares if I didn't get through the Bible in the alloted amount of time that someone told me I should ( I think that was me)...I read some part of the Bible every single day last year (mostly) and that's more than I can say about any other year. I learned a LOT about God and His word and was inspired almost daily by Him and or some way that He's been in my life or someone else's. That counts for something doesn't it?

So I'm not going to make resolutions this year. Except that I am, but a different kind of resolution...to do better than I did last year. To grow more. Experience more. See more. LIVE more. LOVE more. Be ME more.

no plans = great plan

2011-01-01T15:38:00.004-05:00

So having no plans last night turned out fabulous!

We ate a delicious dinner (well, Chris & Eli thought so, I didn't much love it and Lu didn't touch it.) We had Chicken N Dumplings using a recipe I found of Janelle's at Comfy in the Kitchen through Courtney at Women Living Well.

[photo credit]

I realized as I was making the dumplings that I'm not a huge Chicken N Dumplings fan. But my family likes them so...why not. I didn't do something exactly right though cause they just didn't taste right. Chris swears they were fine though...oh well.

After dinner we vegged out in front of the tv and watched UP, which was pretty sad and I must admit because I have the attention span of a fifth grader, I was only half watching most of the time. I tried...I just can't sit through a movie in my living room. In the theater I'm usually ok. Even then I do better when the seat rocks so I can at least move a little. Can't do it in the living room though when there are a hundred things I need to be doing. So Lu and I painted our nails as we watched, cause she has the attention span of a two-year-old (or ADHD as my new MIL suggested---bahahahaha!)

At 9 we made ice cream sundaes. A new tradition I think. :)

At 9:30 Lu asked if she could go to bed which cracked me up! Eli followed suit at 10:30 and at 11:40 Chris' head was on my shoulder and he was snoring softly (yes, I'm being nice.) My poor fam...they're not late-nighters. Told you so.

Today we had our final Christmas celebration of the season with my mom and brothers. I love when they're all in my tiny house. It feels so full and warm and like the best parts of my childhood. Makes me smile.

no plans

2010-12-31T08:23:00.004-05:00

We have no special plans for tonight. My husband is not a late nighter (he's usually out by 10--if not earlier.) But that is totally fine with me. While I love a good party, I also love a good night in (which I think means I'm getting older.) We may find something to do later...who knows!

I have no wise words of wisdom for this last day of 2010. Just a thought or two...

...go on and live. What are you waiting on? Permission? Acceptance? Who cares? This is the only chance you have to live. it. up. So do it! A friend of mine woke up one day last spring to find her husband had died in the night. Two mamas in my school community didn't wake up a few weeks ago. You just never know. So make it count. Another dear friend is hanging on to the hope that this year her boyfriend of a million years will FINALLY want to marry her. *sigh* One of my greatest fears? That life is going to pass me by. I'm the only one who has any control over that.

...pray with all of your might because God is bigger than ANYTHING. He has humbled me this year more than I will ever be able to explain. More now than at any other point in my life I realize just how MIGHTY He is. :)

Wherever you are I pray that 2011 finds you happy, safe and free...

Happy New Year

Winter Vaca Loves

2010-12-29T14:06:00.004-05:00

1. PJs all day long :)

2. Baking...or not...peppermint bark

I love vacation. (Who doesn't really?) I don't mean a trip vacation. Just vacation from school. From daily life. From the crazy that my life becomes when I spend 8-10 hours a day with kids who aren't mine. Pushing them to read. And write. And do things with fractions that make me think, really, they REALLY need to know this?! I love vacations that include sleeping in till 8! and getting up to make snowman pancakes complete with powdered sugar & chocolate chips. I love having time to make peanut butter banana bread (with chocolate chips of course--every thing's better with chocolate chips!) and peppermint bark. What's funny is I don't even like peppermint. But I've learned, just today, that if you eat peppermint surrounded in two thick layers of chocolate...it's not that bad. Who knew!

Back to my vacation---did I mention that I love it? I have loved reading a million blogs about people I don't even know but who write such beautiful and inspiring things that it takes my breath and makes me really pay attention to my days more. I love staying up late to watch movies that I haven't been able to get out and see. I love playing Don't Break the Ice, Chutes & Ladders, CandyLand and a million other games whenever we want. I love that I've been running my dishwasher (which is a whole other love affair) twice a day cause we've been eating in constantly. I love that I'm so excited to see my husband when he comes home because I haven't talked to another adult all day. (I do miss talking to adults.)

In less than a week I'll be back at work. I'm sad about that. But I know that if I want to continue to eat and be able to feed my children, then I have to go. My job is good though. I get to play with kids all day. Sometimes it's not so fun (I don't like having to force them to do work and get frustrated when they don't) but most of the time it's good. (We're doing Hershey Bar fraction math on Monday--how can math be bad with Hershey bars?) I'll be there, but I'll be missing my kiddos. Knowing that they're in good hands while they're away from me. Being loved on and taught kindly. I'll hug them tighter at night because I'll be missing them so. I'll wait patiently on spring break and then summer so I can soak them up all day long again.

Christmas Snow

2010-12-27T09:20:00.004-05:00

An early present... we named her Daisy

(her name was Dixie, but that's a bit too Southern for even us)

I was WAAAYYY more excited than these 2 on Christmas morning!

(I woke up at 2am and could NOT go back to sleep.)

We had to drag these two out of the bed & then they climbed back into ours.

After a quick trip to my gran's to see my WHOLE fam (more about that later), we came home to this:

So we had to head out again

for some Christmas day fun!

Hope yours was wonderful! & as memorable as ours!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-23T09:15:00.007-05:00

My principal read this at our staff Christmas party on Monday and I just found it on another blog. Thought I would share as it so perfectly says what I need to hear this season. Please pray for two families in our community who lost their mamas last week.

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights & shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime; but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at a soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity; but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.

Love is kind, though harried & tired.

Love does not envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love does not yell at the kids for being in the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love does not give only to those who are able to give in return,; but rejoices in giving to those who cannot.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust; but giving the gift of love will endure.

--Sharon Jaynes, Celebrating a Christ-centered Christmas

Duh Mom

2010-12-21T22:01:00.004-05:00

Lu and I were in the kitchen this evening putting up groceries when I looked down to see this:

One sock.

(Be still my OCD heart!)

Here's how it went down:

me: Lu, where's your other sock?

Lu: It dot wet.

me: well why didn't you just take them both off?

Lu: tause dis one's not wet.

Duh Mom.

(She didn't say it, but I swear I heard it.)

I love her independent-I'm-doing-what-I-want-my-way-nature, but...

I think she's going to turn twelve tomorrow and we're never going to agree again.

In a week... & Hope

2010-12-19T20:51:00.003-05:00

A week from now we will be coming home from 5th Christmas get-together (with one more still to come.) We will be exhausted and full. Our kids will be sleepy & wound up all at the same time. We will come in to our house strewn with new toys and candy. And it will be over. The season that we anticipate all year long. It will have passed on by. The week following I will take down our tree and pack up our stockings. The kids will help me put Baby Jesus and the rest of the Nativity scene back in it's box. I will slowly rid the house of all the goodies we have enjoyed lately (either by inhaling them all as quickly as I can, tossing them in a bag for my students or trashing them.) After a week of rest, we will get back to the crazy that is life....without the fun of the Christmas season. I must admit that I'm dreading it already. I'm silently willing this week to S-L-O-W down. Just a bit. So I can just soak it all in. So I can enjoy the smiles on their faces. The pure magic of it all. The magic it still is for me.

Every Christmas morning at my granny's before breakfast someone reads Luke 2. I know the words almost by heart. But I love to hear it read. It's like light to my soul. Just hearing those words. The promise that God gave to this world. I love to hear how Mary and Joseph headed to Bethlehem for the census. How they were turned away everywhere they went. How they ended up in a barn. A barn. Now I'm outdoorsy...in the sense that I like to go to the pool and the beach and on the occasional hike. But I'm not really a "barn girl". My family has a barn (or two.) And currently they keep animals in them (for years it was mostly storage space.) And to be perfectly honest...I don't go in them much. Not much for the general barn smell. I don't even really like my basement. I cannot imagine giving birth in a barn. And then shepherds came. Random (to Mary & Joseph at least) shepherds. Now I imagine that Mary & Joseph weren't all that surprised to see shepherds. I'd say the shock of this baby and all that He encompassed was beginning to be more common to them. They weren't surprised that God would send shepherds. After all, they'd been talking to angels. I love to hear about the shepherds though. Cause shepherds weren't high class citizens. They probably hadn't showered in days. They weren't high and mighty in their society. They were ordinary joes. And if angels came to ordinary joes, there's hope for me, right? Hope for us all.

Santa Grahams

2010-12-12T20:13:00.022-05:00

So the snow started here in the South late Sunday night and pretty much hasn't stopped since. We only have about an inch and a half, but it's been pouring all day. The wind is pretty wretched (which makes my walk outside to the woodstove every hour or so MISERABLE!) We didn't have church yesterday for the second Sunday in a row. Praying we get to go next week as we're supposed to have a benefit dinner for a little girl who has spinal meningitis for the second time. (love her heart) I was able to get out yesterday (thanks hubs!) to do some shopping with my friend.

Didn't get a whole lot, but it was nice to just get out sans children for a bit.

Hubs put up a tent in the playroom...and put the dvd player from the car in it. Kids LOVE it! After playing in it all day they were getting bored with it so we made these...

SANTA GRAHAMS.

Thanks Pillsbury for the great idea and recipe!

Ingredients:
Red & Pink Frosting (made with white icing--I used cream cheese cause that's what I had at home)

Graham crackers & marshmallows (cut the mallows in half)

Red hots & Hot Tamales (calls for red gumdrops...but I couldn't find them, cut the tamales in half)

Panit the bottom 3/4 of the graham with the pink icing & the top corner with the red(ish) icing.

Add red hot eyes, 1/2 hot tamale nose, halved marshmallows for the beard and the top of the hat & wa-la! Santa Graham!

(yes that tiny little spot where the icing doesn't connect makes me a little crazy!)

Here's Eli making some:

notice how he tilts his head to the side just so...he's very particular

Pretty good, huh?

working on #4

Lu avoiding the temptation of eating all the marshmallows...

placing them just so

like how her hair's in her face, she's still in her pjs and has dinner all down the front...yeah, that's a snow day at our house!

i love how she's looking at her brother intently!

hahaha...I caught her!! (literally every other marshmallow went in her mouth!)

look at those chubby little hands! (notice where she's put Santa's eyes...she's much more of an abstract artist than Eli...my lil' Picasso!)

He decided he didn't really like Santa with red eyes, so we added some chocolate chips instead...chocolate makes EVERYTHING a little better!

look at her tongue! & my hubs in the back with his feet up!

so determined.

so particular.

& she's done.

her attention span couldn't handle more than 2. (someone recently told me she might have adhd....to which I responded, maybe she's just 2!...the nerve!)

licking her fingers :)

and her whole hand

here she goes!

in for the kill (I mean first bite!)

then she immediatelly dropped it cause she got icing on her fingers

so she had to lick again (she did this like 10 times!!!)

man, she sure did love that icing! (that's mama's girl!)

Eli's turn

YUMMY!

Check out the Pillsbury site to make your own!

one of those days

2010-12-09T21:08:00.003-05:00

today....has been...one of those.

you know those. those days. where you wake up feeling behind. (but my bed just felt so good.)
and then you realize in an hour (preferebly less) you have to make 3 breakfasts, 3 lunches, and dinner for four, get dressed, do hair, makeup, get clothes out for at least one other person, straighten up the house before the showing,

then drop off the kids, get to school, work like mad to make up for 2 snow days, go to a meeting you forgot you had, wait on your hubs who forgot to do something you asked him to, try to start the fire in the wood stove (lost cause), pick up the kids, go to the bank, go buy a new shirt for the pictures that you forgot were happening in an hour, get yourself & 3 others ready for pics, go have pics taken, get back home, make sure little ones get baths, eat dinner, exercise, make sure clothes are ready for tomorrow, make sure to make hot chocolate that you promised....

all the while i've been a grump. a complete grump. i've yelled at my kids, fussed at my husband, complained about my not so perfect picture, and just felt plain ticked off at this whole day!

at least tomorrow is friday and i can start all over again.

Things I Love--The Grocery Game

2010-12-06T08:26:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to share a few things that I love.

First, The Grocery Game
I've used this site for a year and while there's a minimal fee, it has saved me TONS of money! I used to spend $100+ a week on groceries (just food) and I would always come home and think "I have NOTHING to cook!" And then I tried planning my menu and then shopping, but I'd spend a small fortune and then halfway through the week get bored with my menu and give it up. Now I shop once a week at two stores (Ingles & CVS) and I spend on average $80 on food and everything else (tp, paper towels, face wash, soap, toothpaste, etc.) per week and my house is well stocked. (I say "house" because I don't really have a pantry so I literally have food & non-food items in every spare corner of my house!) At any moment, I can go to my stockpile and make just about anything. That's refreshing. And if one week is tighter money-wise, then I don't HAVE to go shopping. A few weeks I've only bought milk & bread (& of course the newspaper.)

I must admit that I had tried couponing before and I was awful at it. I bought lots of crap I didn't need just because I had a coupon. And I knew nothing about combining coupons and sales. The Grocery Game does all the legwork for you. You just have to pick your store(s), click on what you want, print your list, find your coupons (& with their system it's easy) & shop. I can make my list and get my coupons together in about 30 minutes. Then I'm at the store about 45-minutes (I take my time because it's some of my only kid-free time.) I only go to the store twice a week; once for shopping & once for a new paper for coupons. (I used to go almost daily!)

I've read some sites that encourage you to make everything yourself and save lots more money. I have no doubt that I could do that. I just don't have time for it. I like that The Grocery Game is quick, easy and doable for me. And I've actually seen a change in my grocery money vs. amount of food purchased. I saved $1200 in 12 weeks!!! That in itself is worth it for me!

Confession

2010-12-05T15:15:00.003-05:00

It's snowing. Snowing. Beautiful. Blessed. Maybe-no-school-tomorrow-or-at-least-a-delay snow. And the snow is inspiring me. Inspiring me to tell you something. Something that's hard for me to say out loud.

I have always wanted to make stuff. Pretty stuff. To own my own shop full of pretty stuff that I (& my bff) made. It's a dream. A pipe dream you might say. But I want it. The older I get the more I want it. My bff and I will often say to each other, "Look, I made this. We could sell it in our shop." And then we'll kinda giggle and go on about our way. But secretly I'm hoping against hope that we could do it. We could really make beautifully lovely pretty stuff and sell it. That would people would actually want to buy it. So a couple of weeks ago I was sitting at home (it was Black Friday actually) and I was listening to my kids play and thinking about how I like my job ok but I'm not "in love" with it and how I wish I owned that shop when I thought...I'm so tired of wishing....what am I actually doing to make the wish a reality and the answer was NOTHING. So I decided. No more wishing. Time to start creating. Time to get started on those pretty things. Cause if I'm gonna have a shop I've got to have pretty stuff to sell right?
So today here I am again with the snow and the being inside and the browsing the internet to see all the cool handmade stuff and envying all those people who were brave enough to try. And I'm admitting to you (whoever you are) that I'm scared. But I'm going to try. So here's to being brave and creative and taking a leap. Wish me luck (lots of prayers would be very helpful too!)

Date Night :)

2010-12-04T08:18:00.005-05:00

Last night my hubs and I got to have a *glorious* date night. :)

It was wonderful!

Dinner out, just the two of us at a place we don't ever go to (Chris had never been and was a bit skeptical---but I think he liked it) and Third Day.

Yup, Third Day was close by and since we bought tickets over a year ago to see them (craziness I know but the show was cancelled twice!) we finally got to see them! Chris has been a Third Day fan for years and they were one of the first Christian bands he introduced me to 7 years ago we when first got together. If you don't know of Third Day, you seriously need to check them out. They've been together 18 years, which means their music goes way back and it's all good. I love their most recent stuff, but the oldies are so awesome too!

My favorite Third Day album,

Christmas Offerings, a mix of Christmas classics with a rock sound. **love it!**

It was a great show!

A great date night (we're usually dinner and a movie folks, so the change was nice.)

Got any great DATE NIGHT ideas?

What's your favorite date night?

holidays are hard

2010-11-25T22:57:00.003-05:00

holidays are hard for me. i'm not sure that i can pinpoint an exact reason. but there's a certain...melancholy...disdain...exasperation...i feel for the holiday season. don't get me wrong, part of me LOVES it. loves the lights and the music and the busy-ness. loves the message of my savior's birth. but part of me dreads the commitments. remembers the switch-offs with parents. mom's one year. dad's the next. mom's in the morning. dad's in the afternoon. riding back and forth to get to the right place at the right time and having just the right amount of enthusiasm for just the right people. and making sure to downplay any fun had at another place or any gifts.
i struggle with whose traditions to honor. if any at all. and then at the same time i want my own. i very much want my children's childhood to be different than mine. i want there to be no expectation. just joy. pure uninteruppted joy. and peace and comfort and stability.
i pray that God will give me that this holiday season.

2010-11-25T07:15:00.001-05:00

Starlight Snowflakes Christmas Card

Shop Shutterfly.com for elegant Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Thankful

2010-11-23T05:49:00.004-05:00

When asked what she's thankful for Luci said, (in this order)

Dora,

T.V.,

&

Mama.

A perfect 2-yr-old answer I think.

Shutterfly--Bloggers get 50 FREE Holiday Cards!!

2010-11-22T21:01:00.004-05:00

I love CHRISTMAS cards! Love them!

I come from a semi-large family and it's sometimes hard to keep up with them. But I know I can always look for a Christmas card from them with their precious children.

{And of course I love sending them a recent pic of my babies? }

My favorite Christmas card ever was the one we sent when Eli was 3 and Luci was just 4 months old. We sat the kids in front of our Christmas tree and rushed to click away as fast as we could. About an hour later, with two cranky kiddos, I had uploaded the picture to Shutterfly, picked out the perfect card, and had our prints being delivered before the end of the week.

It took me all of 10 minutes to find the perfect card, drop the picture in and have them shipped to my house.

{Did I mention that I had a 4-month-old at the time?? SIMPLICITY was a necessity!!}

Easy. As. Pie.

LOVE IT.

I love that I can upload pictures to Shutterfly and not have to worry about losing them all when my computer decides to throw in the chips on me. I love that I can share my photos with my family and friends through Shutterfly.

And I that I can get the cutest gifts complete with my darlings' faces quickly and cost efficiently!

When Eli was 2, I made Chris a photo book for Father's Day and he LOVED it!

He keeps it on his desk and says that it's the best gift he's ever received.

(Now I'm getting requests for another one with Lu in it.)

I love that I was able to add my own captions, quotations and verses and make it truly personal.

Another fav, the crazy cool calendars I can get right on the Shutterfly site! For a few years now I've made my parents each a calendar for Christmas. This year I have NO time for the usual paper, sticker, calendar book thing that I've done in the past...so I will DEFINITELY be logging on to quickly drop in my favorite pics and print the perfect calendar for both of my parents!

{I love that you can now customize the dates!!}

Now you know where I'll be doing most of my Christmas shopping!!

Happy Thanksgiving & let the SALES begin!!

it's ok

2010-11-02T21:21:00.003-04:00

(Who are these children and where did my babies go?!?!?!)

Our Halloween weekend was a bit insane (as are most weekends) but I'm learning that it's ok to tell some people no.

It's ok to not make it to every.single.obligation.

It's ok to stay at home and eat dinner on a blanket in the living room while watching a movie.

It's ok to eat leftovers....often.

It's ok to miss a day of work to take my babies on a Halloween walk with Eli's preschool.

It's ok to get done with said Halloween walk and be able to make it to work and instead choose to go on home and nap with my kids.

Life is short and it is OK to stop and just breathe it all in sometimes.

aching

2010-10-06T22:20:00.003-04:00

a girl i know passed away tonight.

she's been sick for a year.

slowly getting worse.

but tonight she's at peace.

resting in the arms of God.

running with Jesus.

please pray for her family.

her twin sister who's in my class.

her big brother who is just beginning to heal from his mother abandoning them years ago.

her grandparents who were enjoying retirement and all it had to offer when they took over care of these three young kids.

we don't always see God's plan. we don't get it.

we ache for understanding.

why do children have to suffer so much pain?

why do some suffer so much more than others?

Dear Lord, I'm thankful that You see the big picture.

That you know so much more than me.

Please wrap your arms around these precious children.

Surround them with your comfort and grace.

Making My Home A Haven

2010-10-04T05:50:00.004-04:00

I aim to keep our house peaceful and inviting.

It doesn't always happen.

But what can I say, I try.

Courtney over at Women Living Well has started a Fall Challenge to keep me (and the rest of you) in check.

The Making Your Home a Haven Fall Challenge started today with the simple task of lighting a candle in your home and saying a prayer for peace within your home every time you catch a glimpse of the candle.

Just this evening I've felt God's presence in our home more so than I can remember lately.

It's been wonderful!

Proverbs 14:1

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

let down

2010-09-25T20:39:00.002-04:00

I was recently let down by someone close to me. Someone I should be able to count on. To trust. And the worst part is it's not the first time. And I'm certain it won't be the last. Breaks my heart. How can I keep trusting? How can I keep putting my self out there? You know the saying "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" well that's where I am right now. sick and tired of dealing with the drama....the disappointment and while I know it's not very Christian of me....I just want to be done. Is that wrong? Am I a terrible person for giving up? I can't fix the situation. I've tried for years...literally years. And while I love this person dearly....more than words can explain. The pain that this person causes me is now affecting my children. And I CAN'T have that.

It Takes an Army...

2010-08-23T22:59:00.003-04:00

not a village....an ARMY. Days like this usually make me want to pull my hair out and scream. But for some reason I'm just rolling with it today. I had to be at school SUPER early for my 1st day of morning duty (7:15---but I got there at 7). I had students straight through until 1:45, then again at 2:30 till just after 3. A long staff meeting till 5ish. Since my hubs is working nights lately, I had to get my dad to come out (a 45 drive from his house) & pick up my kids....Lu from the sitter & Eli from preschool. Got a message at 2 that Dad had to be at an open house at 6 so he was going to drop the kids off at my stepmom's bank around 5. So after a quick stop at my house to ditch the shoes that were KILLING me (I have LIVED in flip flops for 2 mths and now real shoes just aren't cutting it!) I set out to get my babies who were about 30 min away at my stepmom's bank eating chicken nuggets & watching A Bug's Life. Happy as little clams. Since I was already in town & they had already eaten....we headed to Target (I really need no reason at all to head to Target.) On the way home we stopped to see a friend's new baby....precious....who finally decided to take a bottle (love her mama's heart.) I must admit that I let them run a bit wild in Target...didn't even strap them in the buggy...and I managed to stay calm until Eli m.e.l.t.e.d. D.O.W.N. when I told him he had to go to bed. So I took away his pillow pet & let him cry. He's now sleeping peacefully, sans pillow pet (maybe this will be the end of the "I'm waiting till Daddy gets home to tuck me in! meltdowns" ---I sure hope so)

So anyway, if there's anything that having children has taught me it's that we CANNOT do this alone. We desperately need our support system of friends and family. We could NOT raise these kids alone. It's days like this that I'm so very thankful that God has surrounded us (& our kids) with these precious soldiers to do life with.

This I know

2010-08-18T22:05:00.003-04:00

Every night before bed, I sing Jesus Loves Me to Luci. This summer she started singing along. She lays her head on my shoulder and I pause for her to fill in some of the words. It makes my heart smile.
Tonight as I was singing I began to really think about the words.

Jesus loves me this I know
for the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to him belong
they are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The Bible tells me so.

What a simple song. With such a simple message. But oh how true those words ring. They ring true on the days that I need them the most. They ring true on the days when I am broken and sad and beaten down. They ring true on the days when I'm beaming with pride and overwhelmed with joy. They remind me when I'm crazy with nerves about the beginning of the school year, overwhelmed with tired, whiny kids, frustrated with my husband for piling the dishes in the sink, when a parent yells at me or a student makes a snide remark....that even then....He still loves me. When I am weak, He is strong.

One of my favorite songs these days is How He Loves by the David Crowder Band. Have you heard it? Listen to it....NOW. It's incredible. The idea of it....oh, how He loves me....I cannot fathom my Savior's love for me...but I'm SO very thankful for it.

This all reminds me of the verse(s) that struck me this week, Psalms 118:5-9:

I prayed to the Lord, & the Lord answered my prayer & set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? Yes, the Lord is for me; He will help me. I will look in triumph at those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.

School is Starting

2010-08-10T17:28:00.003-04:00

This will be my 8th year teaching. Most days I love it...but some days I just tolerate it. I mean, I could be at home with my own kids rather than hanging out with other peoples. But...we'd be super poor and eating fish sticks & that makes me want to puke. And I think I'd be insane cause I love my kids...but I love being out in the world too. Eli's almost 5 and I still struggle with the guilt. Does it ever go away? I'm beginning to think no. Even though I know they're happy & loved and safe and having a great time without me all day. And that they'd rather me be halfway sane by leaving them 5 days a week for 10 months of the year than be out of my mind and staying home with them.

At least I have the summers. :) It's in the summer that I get to breathe them in all.day.long. I get to sleep in with them or get up early with them...always their choice. I get to take them swimming and play in the sprinkler. I get to read to them in the middle of the day and make them peanutbutter&shelly samiches (as Luci calls them). I get to nap with them (or not.) I get to watch movies with them and chill out and not worry about the 21 kids I'm going to face the next day. I get to watch them grow.

And then at the end of the summer I cry. Because I see that they're getting older and that next summer will be very different from this one because they'll be one year older. And so right now I'm in mourning. (Which totally isn't helping the funk I've been in lately.) But I'm pushing through. I'm smiling for another summer we've had together. I'm laughing at Luci's amazing vocabulary and Eli's sudden older sense of humor. I'm thankful that God gave me a job where I get to stop and breathe every now and again.

Be a Light

2010-08-01T22:29:00.004-04:00

I've been in a funk lately. Not sure why. Just one of those things I guess. Things have slowed down around here. Our summer is winding down....two more weeks until school starts and we get back into the CRAZY! Finished up all 4 (yes, 4!) of our summer weddings. Spent a week at the lake. It's been a good summer in all. I hate being in a funk though. I've been less than motivated this year. Downright lazy you could say. I've worn my feelings on my sleeve and gotten upset about the dumbest things. Really...the dumbest. But then today...
my preacher preached (that sounds weird but how else do you say it?) out of the book of Matthew (one of my favs) chapter 5.

14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp & put it under a basket but on a lampstand and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

I've read this passage a million times (at least a few hundred). It's part of the Sermon on the Mount, one of Jesus' most popular teachings. But the Lord used my preacher to shed a whole new light (:)) on this particular passage.
He said that we as Christians should be moons, because a moon has no light of it's own, it only reflects the light of the sun. So we should be Christian moons and reflect the light of the SON. With Jesus in us, we have the ultimate joy. That joy should be seen by the world. Together with other Christians, we will be like a city on a hill. Only together can we shine enough light to be a city. (That part hit really stuck with me!) Too often ,I feel that I can do things on my own. (& more often, I'm let down with the realization that I can't.) But God designed us to need Him & each other. (& oh how we need both!) He talked about how light keeps us from doing things that we shouldn't in the dark. & how when raising our children we should make sure to have a "light" on in our house. A light that guides and directs....even when it's painful & not cool. He talked about how light brings color to our world, because we wouldn't have color without light (there was a whole part about reflecting & refracting...felt for 2 seconds like 6th grade science.)

I realized in all of this that I've been letting other people determine my light. Instead of being my normal positive & out-going self, I've kept to myself lately & been wary of getting too close to people. Truth is someone hurt my feelings and rather than just walking away and letting it roll off my back, I took it very personal and let it change me. I am constantly telling Chris that we should treat people the way we want to be treated, not the way they treat us or how we think they deserve to be treated. But lately I've not been taking my own advice. I've been smothering Jesus' light within myself. And I don't want (& quite frankly can't) live like that. That is not glorifying to my Savior at all.

So here's to letting my light shine. Being a light for everyone to see. And letting everything I do be to the glory of God that others might see and grow closer to Him.

Have a great week!

before he became a big brother

2010-07-19T14:20:00.004-04:00

I keep remembering summer 2 years ago. Eli was 2...turning 3 in September. My belly was full with a baby due in late August. The pool at the local rec park didn't charge for kids 2 & under and/or parents who were going to the kiddie pool. We spent A LOT of time at that kiddie pool. The water is just over a foot deep so Eli could splash & play as much as he wanted without me really worrying. I sat on the side, or often just inside the pool, as it was sweltering hot. I remember feeling particularly comfortable in my pregnant skin. Any other time in my life I'd be not-so-happy about getting in a bathing suit, but what better excuse than the precious life growing inside of me. I was tan, & as an older woman once told me, "fat just looks better tan" so I felt pretty good about myself. Chris' business was going strong and I wasn't going back to work until December so I was soaking up some much needed rest before the baby arrived.

Eli was sleeping in until 9 that summer. (ahhh...I miss those days) We'd get up, eat breakfast & make it to the pool by lunch. Most days I packed our lunch and we'd stay at the pool till 3. After the pool we'd head home, singing silly songs all the way (my way of keeping him awake till we made it home). At home we'd change out of our swimsuits...me to sweats, him to his diaper & we'd lie on my bed and watch Martha & SuperWHY till we fell asleep. I remember waking up with my baby boy beside me, tan & smelling of chlorine & sunscreen, knowing that these days were quickly escaping me. Come August our lives would change forever.

I love my Luci Ann. She has brought so much to our family. But I am SO very thankful for that last summer with my baby boy before he became a big brother. Such joyous memories I have.

Thankful Thursday--Jury Duty

2010-07-15T22:21:00.002-04:00

Thursday is here again and it kinda makes me sad. There are just a few more Thursdays until I'll be welcoming new 5th graders into my classroom and my life. I know that I'll be ready then, but right now.....I couldn't be farther from that world.

I've spent 3 days of this week in JURY DUTY. I've been called before, but have never served and so this week I not only served by attending, but I was chosen to be on the jury. There is a terrible criminal case going on involving several members of my hometown and I am so very thankful that I was NOT on that jury first of all. But while I sat through the particularly boring civil trial we were given, I began to think about the historical aspects of the civil duty I was performing. This duty that was set forth SOOO many years ago by men who wanted to ensure the fairness of our judicial system. The duty that is not offered many (if any) other place in the world. What an amazing country we are blessed to live in. WOW.

So that's me this week. That's what I learned and what I'm SO VERY thankful for. Freedom, the USA, the men & women who afford me the freedoms I enjoy everyday & my ability & opportunity to be able to give back (if even in this minor way) to this precious system that we have.

Link up with Thankful Thursdays over at Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-14T07:31:00.001-04:00

Love my dad as a papaw!

wasn't sure they heard me....

2010-07-12T21:56:00.004-04:00

but they did. :)

i told eli that he could have ice cream tonight but only after lu went to bed (i'm a mean mama i know!) so in an effort to speed up her bedtime, he grabbed he Bible storybook & began to "read" her all the stories. he said, "this is joseph...he told all those animals to get on that boat & then it rained for like 40 days..." flipping pages he then said, "this is david, he stayed with those lions..." flipping more, "and the rest of it's mostly about this guy....he's jesus christ"

too many times i'll ask...what did you learn in sunday school (when often i'm the teacher) & i get...i dunno or nothing. i often wonder if they hear us at all....

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.(Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV)

i don't know that many people in heaven...

2010-07-06T15:33:00.006-04:00

...my papaw, a few great uncles & aunts, a few friends from high school, a few members of my church family....

but my gran....she knows a lot of people in heaven.....most of her sisters & brothers, her parents, her aunts & uncles, her grandparents, lots of friends, her sweetheart.....

she's not long for this world. it's a phrase i've heard (& probably even said) before....but right now it's ricocheting around in my heart. it brings tears to my eyes & an ache to my stomach. it makes my soul cringe.

she has pnuemonia....which really isn't much....she IS the strongest woman i've EVER known....and it's not what makes me think her time with us is short....

it's the way she has about her right now....her stories of days & people gone by....she told me a story about an older brother of hers who died at the age of 25.....in my 29 years that was the first i'd ever heard of paul. i miss him she said. but i'll miss you! i thought these kids aren't raised yet! i can't do that without you! there's so much more i have to learn from you...i'm not done.

please pray for my gran....and me....and God's will....

as american as apple pie

2010-07-03T23:28:00.012-04:00

In college, my roommate's bf played baseball....so we went to A LOT of baseball games. Since college, I think I've been to 2 (maybe.)

We took the kids to see our local minor league team on Friday & they LOVED it!

& I remembered just how much I {heart} baseball....

just the feel you get in the ballpark.....the noise of the crowd....the smell of the food.....the music....the crack of the bat....the excitement of bases loaded.....

The weather has been **perfect** lately. Highs in the 70s & lows in the 50s....next to no humidity....cool breezes....{perfect}

After the game we got to go on the field & watch the fireworks.

Lu didn't much like the noise.

youth camp & passion

2010-06-30T15:09:00.005-04:00

The Lord has blessed Chris & I with a desire to serve Him. I'm thankful everyday for that desire.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not always THRILLED about this desire.

I'm not always jumping up & down asking "God, what can I do for you today!"

Some days...more than I'd like to admit...I drag my feet and moan Why me? Couldn't somebody else do this? And the answer to that, yeah, they could, but God asked ME. Little ol' me. What an honor & privilege to serve my Father.

In our church we are on the youth team with another couple. My husband has a wonderful way with kids....of all ages. I enjoy them & they make me feel younger than I am, well, most of the time.

Last week we went to Youth Camp with 13 kids ages 11 to 16. The camp was here . It's the second time we've been to that particular camp which is lead by these guys. & let me tell you, God has His hands on that ministry, that place & those people. I know it was supposed to be about the kids....but I learned SOOO much! The whole week was on Apologetics & Defending your faith. The theme was

& the theme verse was Colossians 2:6-7

As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, 7 rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it[a] with thanksgiving.

We talked & heard all week about what it means to be ROOTED in the Lord & how important it is for us. I saw kids give their lives to Christ & others announce their call to serve Him. I know my own heart was touched profoundly as I saw these kids that I have seen grow up & prayed for fall on their knees before their King.

In the weeks leading up to camp I must admit that I was kinda feeling sorry for myself. I was having to leave MY kids & my husband was having to take a week of HIS vacation for this trip. We had to TRAVEL 8 hours away from home & sleep in BARRACKS & eat cafeteria food (which was really good!) Oh, woe is me. blah blah blah...

But in the end, I stand in awe of what last week did for me.

I got to see my husband outside of his every day role as provider for our family. We ate 3 meals a day together for 6 straight days....I cannot tell you the last time that happened! We were not simply passing our kids around or cleaning the house or balancing the life that we have together. For one week we got to leave it all behind.

I got to spend countless hours with some of the funniest, most caring kids you'll ever meet. I talked to the girls about college & boys & we played spoons till lights out.

I got to sit on the beach & soak up the sun without being worried that anyone was eating sand.

I got to spend time learning about my Heavenly Father & learn how better to serve Him.

When we came back on Saturday, the parents & kids were very appreciative & I all I could say was....it was my pleasure. Because that's exactly how I feel. I had the absolute pleasure of taking a break (one that God knew I needed).

I'm so thankful that He knows better than me.

Wedding #2..finally

2010-06-18T15:55:00.008-04:00

(I started this post more than a week ago....& then YOUTH CAMP happened....guess better late than never!)
I TOLD you it was the summer of the weddings in our house!

The week after our first wedding, my baby brother got married to a girl he's dated for 6 years. She's as much a part of the family as he is now & if he hadn't married her I'd probably've hurt him!

This time around I was a bridesmaid & Eli was the ringbearer.
It was a simple, beautiful wedding!
The reception was full of good food, dancing & laughter with old family friends....a great time!

My baby bro, me & Eli (can you tell he's *sick* of pics!)

My dad with my niece Emory & Eli.

Me & my dad

Finally sitting down to eat!

The tent that overtook my aunt's field for the weekend!

The bride & groom :)

The Summer of the Weddings...Part 1

2010-06-06T16:43:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was our first wedding of the summer & it was *beautiful*

Eli was the ring bearer & after a nightmare of a rehearsal

(that included promises for a new Wii game, money, ice cream & even a trip to the waterpark--thanks Daddy!)

he made it down the aisle (half running at the end)

& made us proud parents. :)

Most of the time, I can't believe how big he's gotten, but Friday night he definitely showed that he's still a little boy. Walking down that aisle was SO daunting.

But afterwards, he was all a GLOW!

Here he is posing with the flower girl, a dear friend of ours.

(Look how he's hanging on her arm...he would NOT let go & she was LESS than thrilled about that--seeing as how she's an older woman of 7 & all!) Let's not forget my little **HAM**

She will NOT be outdone!

I **LOVE** this pic as it is such an accurate representation of them....
she's SUCH a DADDY'S GIRL!

After 4 (yes 4) hours at the church, with pics 2 hours before & the reception afterwards, we CRASHED! Tune in next week for WEDDING #2!

Thankful Thursdays

2010-06-03T21:50:00.003-04:00

This week (& every other) I'm so very thankful that even though I often seem not quite good enough in the world's view....in God's eye I am perfect. I am His perfect creation and He makes NO mistakes. I am thankful that despite my sin, He has cleansed and made me whole. I am thankful that when I am at my worst, I am nothing less in God's eyes.

Join in Thankful Thursdays over at Grace Alone.

I hope.....

2010-06-01T20:31:00.003-04:00

It's that time of year again...time for me to spend a week giving my students tests that will determine what they've learned from me. In one week....3 days really, they are to let everyone know what I've taught them this year.
I don't want this to sound wrong, but I hope I've taught them more than 3 days worth of tests. I hope they know that I care about them (regardless of what they make on this test & whether or not anyone else cares), I hope they know that I'm proud of them & that I have really enjoyed this year I've spent with them. I hope they've learned that it's ALWAYS ok to D*A*N*C*E & that it's ok to be angry, just as long as you're not mean. I hope they've learned what it means to be part of a team--a family of sorts. I hope they've learned what constitutes a HEALTHY snack! I hope they've developed some sort of patriotism & respect for our country and the amazing people who have made it what is today. I hope they've learned a tiny bit about organization and the importance of it. I hope they know that each and every one of them is special to me.

A Winner!!

2010-06-01T20:22:00.002-04:00

We have a winner folks,

# 55 from Random.org

debbie said...
I like the organic honey graham and strawberry bars.
May 31, 2010 6:02 AM

Debbie you won $20 worth of Plum and/or Revolution Foods!

I just sent you an email so get back to me asap so you can get your prize!!

Thanks to ALL of you for entering! Please come back by soon!